My Struggle - Day7 and 8 & Why UniShit sucks

Day 7:

two loaves of bread with butter and jam + a mug of coffee (breakfast)
homemade dishes + fruit (lunch)
a bowl of duck noodles
homemade dishes + fruit (dinner)
a packet of prawn crackers
a scoop of ice cream
a packet of chocolate milk
500 ml of plain water

35 press-ups
Martial arts practice


Day 8:

2 eggs + a mug of coffee (breakfast)
a bowl of laksa + fruit (lunch)
a scoop of ice cream
a bowl of chendol
homemade dishes + fruit (dinner)
a packet of hon fan
500 ml of plain water


I felt quite nauseated when I looked at the job sites today. My lousy diploma in Mechatronics from Singapore Polytechnic has screwed me up badly, and continues to do so. It is simply not relevant; a piece of junk that delivers only disappointment.

This reminds me of life in my shithouse of a university.

(Xianghong, my bro, I hope you read this. You can still back out.)


Why UniShit is UniShit.


Laughable entry requirements
Any joker with a recognized diploma, two years of work experience and sufficient dough can enrol himself in a course. There are neither minimum academic standards to meet, nor applicants required to pass entry requirement tests. As a result, each intake comprises mostly of people whose sole idea of academic pursuit is a better paying job but disregards other benefits of higher learning.

Indeed, the mediocre are legion. During my short time in this education travesty I have been consistently left befuddled and frustrated by the balderdash I had to proofread in my group reports. Everybody makes grammatical errors. I am not implying that my English is impeccable – it can be abysmal at times. However, there is a clear difference between the odd grammar mistake here and there, and entire paragraphs that absolutely make no sense.

To call my editing efforts a suicidal experience would not be far off the mark. I am only in my first year, and already I had corrected writings from teachers, argued with a fucking imbecile on how to interpret an assignment question (I was right and he turned around and claimed I was wrong all the while.) and wasted countless hours trying to correct things that practically defy any such attempt.

This is what you get when you just take in any Tom, Dick and Harry. The university should implement a proper selection scheme. Applicants for “soft-science” courses should be made to sit through an English test and only those who passed deemed eligible. Likewise, for hard sciences like IT and engineering – applicants must pass basic math and science. What is the point of churning out en masse graduates who lack even basic writing skills? Or worse, graduates who have zero aptitude for their chosen pursuits?

If even private universities have “bridging” courses for new students, I don’t see why UniShit could fail to establish a proper selection process. While education is primarily business these days, there is a difference between a business and a racket.


Pretty my ass!
If you like to ogle sweet young things, UniShit is not for you. Go to SMU.


Tiny compound
UniShit has tens of thousands of students, and its premises are about as big as the EC Department in the Singapore Polytechnic. What else to do, but rent classrooms from the polytechnic next to it. Pathetic.

Come examination period, you can hardly find a seat in the lavishly renovated and one-story university library. The table and benches around the premises are either occupied by people who pretend to study, or couples who are too cheapskate to pay for a hotel room.

For those who are keen on “having a healthy lifestyle” in spite of being overworked, take note that there are no fields, courts, and gyms in the premises. Masochists may happily torture themselves at the nearby venues: NUS school track, Clementi Stadium, and Clementi Sports Complex.


Course notes
The imbeciles who are writing the seminar notes and case studies ought to be sacked. This is a university, not bloody nursery school. You can’t have glaring errors in the handouts you expect your students to print themselves. Poor grammar, wrong mathematical values, ambiguous wordings, unclear instructions – if only I had a penny for each mistake they made.

Even the online quizzes are not exempt from criticism. A few questions are simply wrong, or have wrong answers. The problematic question I had for my Qualitative Methods last season still remain uncorrected, as I found out when a friend asked me for help as she tackled her quiz. I guess these lazy bastards UniShit employs just can’t be bothered.

Stop being so cheapo Unishit! You are rolling in dough from your racket! Pay some money for an editor! If you are even too cheapskate for that, at least ask your course chairs to fucking look through the bullshit you give your students.

And we have to print our notes. And the papers and ink cartridges cost money. Not to mention fucking troublesome.

Shame on you UniShit! Shame! Shame! Shame!


High attrition rate
According to a staff, the attrition rate for my Business course is 40%. 40%! I thought poly was bad. I don’t think SMU, NTU and NUS boast such impressive figures. What is this?! The fucking Normandy landing?!

The girl whom I did my Stats project with last season dropped out. A month ago, my friend who was in the same course as I, threw in the towel as well. I may not see the start of next season. Little wonder. Shithouse university, shithouse chances.


No higher studies
Forget about getting your Masters or doctorate at this university. They have none to offer. Of course, if enough people are willing to pay good money…Or maybe they do now. There’s a sucker born everyday.


Food (Slop)
The food court offers slop at affordable prices. Slightly better slop can be purchased at a higher price at the cafes. In the end, it’s still slop.


Modules
To complete a basic degree, you have to pass 24 modules and 3 “enrichment’ modules. This translates roughly to: 24 online multiple choice quizzes, 24 group assignments, 14 -18 examinations and 6 – 10 individual projects. The ‘enrichment’ modules vary in workload, but are less draining. You can max it within three years, or space this torture within a maximum length of eight years.

Each module is to be completed in six weeks. Imagine learning Statistics and Economics in six weeks – oh the challenge! Think that is fun? Nay! For your individual project, expect to produce a written academic report (usually 4,000 words or 12 pages long), a 15-20 PowerPoint slides, and a video presentation five to ten minutes in duration. According to my Stats lecturer, we are the first university he had seen, that requires its students to do video presentations. Moreover, not only do we have to submit our written report on the university website, we also need to burn our written report (in doc. format only), PowerPoint slides and video clip in a CD and submit the damn thing to the Unishit office! And we have about slightly more than a week to do so after the end of the last lecture. Mission excruciating.

Come on UniShit! Wake up your fucking ideas will you?! We are not the Toastmasters Club! Many of us cannot even articulate ourselves without resorting to Singlish and if you buggers think the video presentations will be good practice for us, you are sadly mistaken. If you want your students to do this kind of thing, at least make them go for ‘presentation’ courses first! We may be all working adults, but only a few of us have to do presentations as part of our work. What in the Eighteen Hells induced you to think that we can suddenly ‘magick’ something up? And to demand that we DO NOT refer to any slides or notes during our performance is simply ridiculous.

What you are doing is painfully obvious! GIVE UP! STOP imitating SMU! UniShit can never be as good as SMU when it comes to producing students who can present themselves. Both are overhyped and overmarketed but this is where the similarities end. They are a prestigious university with an American teaching style, whereas UniShit is an upstart that cannot even get their seminar notes right. It’s like comparing a 1980s Hyundai to a Ferrari. No prizes for guessing who the imploding vehicle is

Back to the watered down modules. How much can you possibly learn about a difficult subject like International Economics in six fucking weeks? Add to this difficulty is that you are just a part-time student. It hardly makes for conducive learning when you have to turn up for class after a hard day at work and missing dinner so that you can make the 7pm timing. How much can you absorb in three hours? Make that eighteen hours in six weeks, and I have not even subtracted the toilet and refreshment breaks from this total.

With courses already abridged as they are, how much can a student, even a studious one absorb? Not very much certainly. Emphasis is placed not so much on learning as much as fulfilling certain requirements and passing examinations. Is this what real education is all about? I suppose who the fuck cares, so long this fucking cuntry gets its share of graduates to compete on the globalization front (who the fuck believes this shit anyway?). This is what this university is all about: a paper mill. Pay, suffer and get degree, critical thinking sold separately. 24 modules! Why not up the fun and double it to 48?! More revenue surely.

The group assignments they give us actually add to our burden instead of allowing us to better our understanding. How so?

First, the group forming. You often have to form groups with strangers and work on an assignment worth 30% of the overall marks with them. You may end up with hardworking and intelligent people if you are lucky, but don’t count on it. There are too many parasites around who don’t want to do the work, have stinking attitudes or are just plain stupid.

Second, being a part timer, you will never have enough time. Imagine you have your online quiz to clear, the baby’s crying, the boss calls you up to stress you with more demands and questions, your wife complains you don’t have time for her anymore and hints she will find some prick who can afford some much needed time and affection, you are struggling with the stupid case study, a couple of your group mates have gone AWOL and the deadline is near. You are sick and tired and you have to attend to some shit that coops up…

40% attrition rate ladies and gentlemen! 40%!

Third, it’s so too tempting to ahem…refer to some kind soul’s paper. There exists an informal network that ‘facilitates the exchange of ideas’. All you need is to find the right sources and ask. Ask and it will be given. Just remember to paraphrase so that the stupid plagiarism software doesn’t put you in the red zone. We have been warned time and again about plagiarism, but as long as you are not overt and they turn a blind eye, it’s must be regarded as a viable option. I would even say it’s almost a moral necessity when the deadline is 24 hours later and you haven’t even touched the damn shit.

It’s not that most students are crooks. Unfortunately, unreasonable constraints and circumstances make people do the things they do. It’s regrettable, but a fact of life nevertheless. (The course mate and friend I mentioned earlier knew nothing about International Economics, but he plagiarized and got an A for his enterprise. To the Abyss with morals and ethics!)

Why not replace the group assignments with individual tutorials that are marked each week? Less plagiarism and puts the parasites out for good. Less stressful yet fulfils basic learning objectives.

The examinations. Unlike our contemporaries in other universities, we do not enjoy the luxury of an ‘examination break’. Remember, we have to work and have other commitments to tend to. If it had not been for the revision lectures (read: hints fests), many would have been dead and buried.

As mentioned, we have to do three “enrichment courses”. The one that teaches you how to do academic writing is compulsory while you get to choose what you want for the other two. The first one is an abject failure for reasons previously stated while the other two can either be actually useful, or just time-wasting. I’ll not go into detail here, but this is just one of the ways UniShit conspires to add value to its marketability while at the same time earning additional revenue.


Accreditation
Unlike other private universities, UniShit only offers degrees that are recognized locally. If you are thinking of using that piece of paper as a stepping stone for migration/emigration, hard luck pal.


Other universities
There has got to be an easier way to earn a degree. SMU, NTU and NUS offer much better degrees. The presentation skills that you will acquire at the first institute will benefit you for life (and did I mention it has better looking broads?) True, it may not offer part-time courses, but if you must, borrow money from the bank. If you can get in and emerge with a degree, you will be able to pay off the damn loan in no time. Employers are always on the look out for articulate and confident people. That piece of paper is already a selling point in itself.

As for the other two, their certifications are internationally recognized, and they make the top 100 list for universities worldwide every year. Best thing is that since they are owned by the regime, you can pay your school fees via CPF. Their degrees are automatically recognizable locally so you needn’t worry about credibility issues.

UniShit is also a ‘recognizable’ institute. However, compared to the three ‘official’ institutes, it is not only a poor cousin, but one that is basically living on scraps and about to be dumped out to the streets for the curs. I don’t feel at all confident going to a job interview with a UniShit degree when I see besides me candidates from SMU, NTU and NUS. It’s like pitting a .38 revolver against an AK-47.

Although the course fees of other private universities are not subsidized by the regime, they offer their own advantages. Why suffer three years (or longer, if you are relegated) when you can get a degree in two years or even a year and a half? Why endure the stupid group projects and the uniquely stupid video presentations and PowerPoint slides when you have little time to begin with? Why not just turn up for classes, study at your own pace, and take the examinations? Why bother to endure the bloody traffic congestion to get to UniShit when your school is in the city area and therefore easily accessible?

Sure, the degree may not be as ‘credible’ as the mainstream ones in this cuntry, but what if you are overseas? Not all local employers look at the university an applicant hailed from. Sometimes it’s just how you present yourself during the job interview, or if the bloke likes your face or not. Maybe you have to ask for a lower salary, but hey, a couple of hundred dollars less is not as tragic as compared to the amount of suffering you went through, the time wasted at Unishit doing tons of fucking projects, and all you show for all your efforts is relegation (extra time and money wasted) and a 001 added to the attrition total because after two years you decided that “I have enough of this shit”.

The point I made regarding the job interviews and credibility issues may seem contradictory. Look at it this way. Your reward should be equal to the effort you put in. If all I have to show for, after three years or more of torture, is a degree that barely ranks above the non-mainstream ones, why should I take the damn course?!


Traffic congestion
Imagine you are late for class, and the fucking traffic just won’t move! You can be assured this will happen during evening time. That is, provided you managed to get on the over packed bus in the first place. You are exhausted from work, pressed on all sides by equally tired-looking people, and trying to keep your balance with the start stop start stop of the bus as it edges itself forward in traffic. Try to endure this for 20 – 30 minutes. If it rains, double the duration.

Breathing can be a challenge when over 50 people are using up oxygen in a single-decked bus, and nigh impossible when some idiot smells like a skunk in heat. To breathe or not to breathe – that is the question. At any rate, it just doesn’t put you in a good mood for higher learning. If you don’t asphyxiate first.

If you are fortunate or rich enough to drive, good for you. Just put the music on and be patient. Gloat at the losers suffering on the buses. Whatever.

SMU and other private universities are in the city area. If the roads are congested, take the train. The trains may be packed, but you will almost never be late. Can’t say the same for UniShit.


Left outside alone
Most of the teaching staff teach on a part-time/contract/assignment basis. They do not have their own offices in UniShit. Unlike our peers in NTU and NUS, we can’t go to our professor’s office and ‘ka-ciao’ him or her every time we have a problem. The best we can do is to send an email to our lecturers and hope they quickly respond, or call them directly and convey our problems over the phone, and then try to understand the explanations – no easy feat.

In short, we are mostly left to our own devices. If we sink, too bad. It’s nobody’s problem but our own. At the end of the day, UniShit still collects money from us.

You just can’t play by the rules anymore. I suggest this: When in doubt, collude. When utterly lost, plagiarize. If you are an educator who is reading this and feels offended, it’s your problem. Just don’t make it mine.


Online communication
When project deadlines are impending, watch out! The system may crash from the sudden overflow of data. Why they would place the deadlines of so many courses into such a narrow time frame is anybody’s guess. They had already extended the project cut-off date once this year due to system malfunction. The trend looks set to continue.

Every announcement, addition of notes and course materials, and submission of assignments is done online. While this is a necessary evil given the nature of the coursework, surely they can send us a notification to our personal emails to tell us which modules are affected? We don’t have time to search through the whole Blackboard site!

At the end of each season, we are required to do online assessments for the courses we have taken before we are allowed to choose our courses for the next season. It would help to alleviate this inconvenience if the fucking system doesn’t hang or lock us out, as it did for me. Unlike the full-timers, we pathetic part-timers don’t have time for this rubbish. Or would UniShit prefer that we forward an email stating our complaints to the top management instead? Bloody hell.


If I strike the first prize in the state lottery this weekend, UniShit can kiss my ass. Goodbye shit, hello SMU/[insert foreign university].