Birthday and the Girl

Birthday came early for our Lass yesterday. Alfred (O Prophet of Wantonism), Pearl, the Teacher and I celebrated her birthday at the Seoul Garden in Marina Square.

We gave the Lass a Gillette Venus razor (blades included) as a birthday gift. Normally people don’t give sharp objects, but when the recipient was born on Halloween, conventionality goes to the shredder. Anyway, it’s nice to know that we will be on the Lass’s mind every time she shaves.

After challenging me to a contest of carnivores, the Teacher left early. His missus was leading a concert at the Esplanade and she would make mincemeat of him if he was late. Behind a carnivore is another bigger and more ferocious carnivore. The beauty of the food chain. Lovely.

My bro eats all kind of meat....

In the end I devoured all the meat on my plates. It was a very good meal. The Lass, the Prophet, and Pearl were loosening their trousers or skirt to alleviate the ‘bloating’, but I think my inert and non-responsive excuse of a stomach could still pack more slop. My friends should eat more. Life is short. Eat and be merry. The Lass could still make 170cm before 20. Only 8cm to go.

Same for me. No birthday cake, so birthday girl

The girls seemed to like soup. The Lass drank her ice cream after it melted. Pearl was happily dumping food into the pot and enjoying the soup and boiled food. No wonder they say women are made of water. I should be more sensitive and therefore I should drink more liquids. Don’t understand? Never mind. Nobody understands a woman anyway. Duh.

Pearl, and the staring thing. Beauty and the Beast

Ah, sensitivity! The Prophet and Pearl are highly sensitive people (HSPs), while the Lass is insensitive. I am somewhere in between. The Teacher has not taken the test but claimed he will be totally sensitive. The HSPs spoke of what it means to be highly sensitive and the importance of forming a support group for their own kind. I was astonished at how sensitive people live their lives. Given my gentle nature and my propensity towards left-handedness, I should be one of them. But no. Strange.

As for our insensitive Lass, I suggested that highly insensitive people form their own support group: Highly Insensitive People (HIP). Pearl said that no one will bother to join, as non-sensitive people are the majority and insensitive people can’t be bothered anyway. She has a point.

According to the Prophet, HSPs who suffer overwhelming stimulus could flip and become even more insensitive than the insensitive people. It’s fascinating, considering the principle could work in reverse. The insensitive becomes extremely sensitive. Imagine the Lass being moved to tears by kittens, teddy bears, music, sunsets, roses and sweet-nothings…That would be the day!

We also recommended possible activities we could do together. First, we could go to the Teacher’s place to play ‘wee’. I don’t know what wee is but Pearl seemed very happy about it. I think it’s something that you can press and hit, like some kind of video game controller.

We could also form a band. The Prophet said that it’s good to dream, for it gives us a vision to work towards. Even if it does not come off, it’ll still be nice to fantasize once in a while. (Tell me about it. It always gives me great personal comfort to fantasize about Monica Belluci.) I quite agree, although I haven’t the foggiest idea on how I fit in. Unlike Pearl, Prophet, Lass, and the Teacher who are musically inclined, any music I attempt is liable to make myself a target for boots and other projectiles. Maybe I’ll dance or learn to play some simple instruments like drums, cymbals and that triangle thingie. The Lass and the Teacher could do a duet, look into each other’s eyes, and go all mushy and sentimental as they sing. Our two HSPs could play musically instruments. I will be the background dancer, although the audience may find it strange to look at the hooligan/Chinese medium looking bloke gyrating his er… whatever behind the gently crooning couple.

The Lass looks amazed at the carnivore besides her. Real life animal planet.

Jogging is good. To attain that ‘structured look’ she wants, the Lass must jog. The Prophet suggested that we split ourselves into the Garfield, normal, and speedy categories, or the quick could lead the slow. We told the Prophet not to be an accountant and “split accounts”. At the most I’ll just shuttle from one end to another. Anyway, I promised the Lass she would take at most two years to being structurally perfect, but she said she doesn’t want to move. Garfield! I hope to get Miaoyu (Meow) to join in. At least them fat cats can encourage each other.

The Prophet and I used marketing principles to discuss about our groups. It’s like this: there are two detergents. The first has a whitening effect; the second removes stains better. Each detergent has its own unique selling points, to appeal to different consumers. There is a mass market and in this competitive environment, segmentation of consumers occurs. Consumers have every right to choose the brand of detergent they want. Some prefers brand A, while others like Brand B. If consumers do not like the product they have chosen, they will defect to the other brand. Many consumers also use both detergents, with no particular brand loyalty to each. Consumers shift between brands and we cannot force them to buy a product. Each detergent should concentrate on its product advantages, and excel, without having to customize or be influenced by customers. We should not discriminate customers who may have different viewpoints. Instead the brand should focus on its strengths. The Prophet said that we should fire unfavorable customers, while I thought we should keep the door open to prospects. The Prophet argued that if there is some factor causes the product to deteriorate in quality, we should remove the offending element. I replied that we should address the problem and create a stronger brand. At the end of the day, we are all selling detergents. Detergents are made to clean, and it is important that we are working towards the same goal.

I wanted to add the Prisoner’s Dilemma, economical, political, demographical factors in this discussion with the Prophet, but the Lass was going bonkers at the incomprehensible things we babbled. Pearl looked quite entertained with the orgy at our table. Two intellectually sounding blokes inflicting collateral damage to a declared anti-intellectual – it’s no way to treat our birthday girl. I explained the discussion to the Lass and she was like “why don’t you guys speak in plain English?”

Anyway, the Prophet talked to the Book guy and I guess it’s all water under the bridge now. I asked the Prophet why Kit is in our group. He said that he’s in newatheists or friendlyatheists (we were all lost at the number of groups we have.) According to the Prophet, we have three levels: the first (interested people); two (people whom we have met); and the third (the core group.) This elicited lots of table thumping from the other three of us. We were absolutely flummoxed at the number of groups. We have yahoo, facebook and possibly anything from Earth to the Milky Way. Everybody is confused except for the creator. It’s like multi-level marketing and we protested. The Lass wanted one group where everyone is together. We should just have Singapore Atheists, since we are all Singaporeans and atheistic anyway. I don’t know how things will turn out. Let’s hope it’ll not become an orgy like the Middle East.

The Prophet also asked me what we talked about on Tuesday. He was being made more lost by people who were lost at the end of what was a very confusing talk. I don’t know how to describe it. The only thing I remember was how the Lass got herself injured.

Talking of which, the Lass also told us about her stoned friend whom the Book guy talked to. The poor bloke clearly needs a seminar on how to talk to girls. You jolly well don’t go on about the Christian evangelical situation in Singapore and try to sell activism and atheism to a 17 year old girl, especially one so stoned! I should talk to him one day.

Anyway, her friend’s the only other non-religious member in the Sha Monkeys, but it’s unlikely we’ll see her. The Lass said she’s too stoned. She fantasizes herself to be a lone valiant warrior fighting against hordes of enemies; so inert that you have to call her a few times while she reboots from staring at blank space; and the “wardrobe senility” as well. (Oh Clara, I forgot to wear my – CLASH! OUCH!) Her friend should join Gab and I in our Dungeons & Dragons game. We would love a Joan or Arc kind of paladin. The kind that “stones” in real life and stones monsters in sword and sorcery fantasy.

We had a little ‘talk-about ourselves’ session. The Lass said she’s weird and finds it hard to connect her thoughts. We disagreed and we told her she’s perfectly normal. Pearl said that the Lass is the most intelligent 17 year old girl she’s ever seen. When you are at that tender age and writing intelligently about eugenics and life, then naturally you will seem odd as you compare yourself to your MTV and Hollywood loving peers. In a sense, we are all weird. We are atheists. We are the marginalized and ostracized; we are atheists because we think differently, but if there were no people like us, no ‘weirdos’, then the world would be a sadder place. Look at the great artists, leaders, inventors, scientists, writers! Weirdos! Special people! Our Lass is special, and I hope when she wakes up tomorrow, she will realize that she is special. Uniquely Clara sounds much better – and more appropriate - than Weirdo Clara.

There were a big group of people in the restaurant celebrating a friend’s birthday. They were really boisterous and clearly having a lot of fun. When they started to sing Happy Birthday, we sang along but replaced the bloke’s name with Clara’s and in the end, everybody clapped. I don’t think they notice us, but “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CLARA…….” obviously sounds so much nicer. Sneaky perhaps, but fun.

The four of us chatted some more for a while. Then we left to do a bit of shopping in the fashion store and bookstores before they closed for the night. The Lass bought a cute organizer for next year. Pearl described to me how salacious the Dreams of the Red Chamber is. Too bad my Chinese is terrible. I would love to appreciate how some bloke in the Qing or whatever dynasty could possibly express sexuality and sensuality in such flowery and delicately enticing language, without being lynched for ‘corrupting’ society. Maybe I’ll have both Pearl and Meow read the text to me while I lie down and sip orange juice.

The Prophet and I both asserted that women are vital to a capitalist economy, which exists primarily to please them. Even the economy is feminine. Women are taking over the world. It makes a whole lot of sense, considering that the economy goes hay-wired every decade or so, just like women going crazy once every month. (Any female reading this can put the hate mail and anthrax in the C-Box on the right of the screen.) I think I’ll tell our theories to my international economics lecturer next year. I should be looking at an A for my assignment.

Two flowers and three blades of grass.

Well, I think that just about rounds it.

SWEET 18 & A LOVELY HALLOWEEN CLARA!

Review on BUS 353: Project Management

I did my course evaluation for my modules this season. I have to apologize for my critique. It is too mild.



STUDENT FEEDBACK FORM ON CONVENTIONAL LEARNING

To help the University serve you better, we would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to complete this Student Feedback Form. Thank you. IN filling this form, please select ONE option from the following categories. Indicate your choice clearly with an 'X'.

SA : Strongly Agree
A : Agree
N : Neutral
D : Disagree
SD : Strongly Disagree


A) Course

1. Content

The study materials:

a) Are well-written and easy to follow..........SD

b) Provide sufficient examples to give me a deep understanding of the course...........SD

c) Are able to meet my learning needs...........SD

What do you like best about the study materials?

Like? This Project Management course is RUBBISH! The best part about the course is the group assignment and ECA. They were so riddled with errors they reminded me of Swiss cheese. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the abject lack of proper writing skills. I thought Sarah Palin was funny. Now I know better.

In what ways can the study materials be improved?

Please sack the imbeciles who wrote the assignments. Everybody had a torrid time trying to understand the balderdash. The assignments (an insult to the word, if you ask me), are perfect examples of poor grammar, messy layouts, ambiguity and substandard writing skills. Disgraceful, shameful, a travesty and a hefty kick in the mouth for the poor students who paid so much money only to receive trash in return.


2. Presentation

The study materials are:

a) Presented professionally in way of look and feel.........SD

b) Well-formatted in way of spacing, font size and alignment...........SD

c) Well-edited in way of spelling, punctuation and grammar.............SD

What do you like best about the presentation of the study materials?

The people who designed this course clearly need an IQ test. The course is about Project Management, not Microsoft Project. Instead of learning about how to manage a project, we are forced to figure out how to use the damn computer program to complete our assignments.

To exacerbate the situation, we were not given written instructions on how to use MS Project. No guidebooks, no preparatory classes. Nothing at all! We are expected to rely entirely on a very cumbersome software to manage a project.

Surely real life project management is more than just a stupid software! I learned nothing from the course. I curse the day I chose to take up this subject. I should demand my money back. Although this university is primarily a business, the management should not run it like a racket.

In what ways can the presentation of the study materials be improved?

Ditch the damn Project Management software and teach us some real project management skills. Or rename the course. Call it BUS 353 Microsoft Project.


B) Teaching

1. Tutor's Name

The tutor is

a) Well-prepared..........A

b) Able to stimulate learning and thinking............A

c) Able to mentor students and encourage their interest..............A


What do you like best about the tutor?

He tried his best to help us make sense of what is basically a stupid course. I admire him for his determination and professionalism. He's a very helpful person and went out of his way to correct the errors in the TMAs. An uphill struggle, considering the enormity of this inhumane and excruciating task, but I must say he came through with flying colours.

In what ways can the tutor improve?

You can start by raising his pay because he deserves it.


I think I'll take up Mass Communications somewhere else if UniShit expels me. I can earn some course credits by posting this critique on other famous websites. You have PR, and then you have reverse PR. I think I'll make a good hatchet-man.

New People, Old Cats

My first day at work wasn't too bad. After the Australian director gave me a briefing, Michelle - the person whom I'm standing in for the next two weeks - showed me the ropes.

I will be using a program called JayWalk to fill in order forms and compile marketing intelligence with Excel. I also have to document reports and disseminate information via the computer network.

The manager Angie, and another bloke will assign me work. Tomorrow I'll be helping the former in her project. What fun.

After lunch I met Xianghong, Alfred, Alvin and Gabriel in Public House. They were talking about army life when I arrived. (Blokes will always be blokes.) It was a nice "appetizer" for the main course: Atheism.

Xianghong and Gabriel had to go off at three so the three of us continued with our discussion. Alfred and I were most impressed with Alvin's passionate articulation. We talked about the Zeitgeist documentary and its Addendum; about how we could make Atheism viable and actually help people. We also got to know one another. A good chitchat session and really, in spite of the Atheistic overtones, nothing ivory-tower.

Anna joined us around six. She is an ex-Christian whom Alvin convinced to turn stag. We talked a bit and I hope more atheistic ladies will come OUT and join us. (Please do not assume we blokes are trying to score a date - we are Atheists, not SDU matchmakers. Oh plezzz....)

Anyway, I'm delighted to have more friends. This is what our group is all about and I think it's important to engage real people.

That concludes our little meetup.


As promised, here are some nice pictures of my other friends:

Psycho. Watch it...Any moment he'll........ OUCH!

Big cat. Psycho sleeps a lot during the day. You can pet him but when his tail starts to swing, it's time to walk away.

Don't even think of touching him at night. You might lose some blood.

Introducing...The BOSS! Wanted for the murder of 99 bathroom scales.

I haven't seen the Boss for a few months already. I hope the old cat is well and alive in some nice chap's house. I miss the fella.

The Boss attempts an amazing balancing act. 10.000!

Last but not least, Fuzzy!

Fuzzy's on the table.....table.....the cat is on the table....

Very friendly cat. Soft matted fur and a silken purr.....

Fuzzy ponders evolution. Examining the human with a critical eye.

That's all folks!

Stress

Working on my Marketing modules for the past two days has left me mentally exhausted. There's still much work to be done. I've more cramming to do. My group project report is due this Sunday so I've to compile and proofread it.

No rest for this infidel.

I borrowed a few comics: Get Fuzzy, Garfield and The Incredible Hulk. The animal (cat)humor and the "Hulk Smash!" no-brainer violence should alleviate some stress.

Singapore became the first country in Asia to declare a recession. Hearing our esteemed leaders tell us to brace ourselves for job losses and salary cuts is tragicomical. We don't really need our overpaid millionaire politicians to announce to us something that happened months ago. Talking about job losses and salary cuts, shouldn't our leaders put their money where their mouth is and lead by example?

Only in this country will the citizenry tolerate such balderdash from their leaders. Uniquely Singapore.

As the recession deepens, more businesses will collapse or "restructure". Many of these people who are thanked for their services will be from the lower rungs/non executive positions. On one hand, the number of job positions will decrease, and on the other more people will find themselves on the streets. Economics does not always run along the lines of direct proportionality; sometimes the reverse is valid.

The extraordinary spectacle of 50 applicants going through three rounds of interview for one miserable $1,600 non-executive position will be a common sight soon. It brings to mind the 1998 financial "crisis" that lasted four to five years. (According to my Economics lecturer that wasn't even technically a crisis.) If that wasn't a crisis, I shudder to imagine what would happen in the current one, with it being compared to the Great Depression of 1929.

100 applicants and six rounds of interview for the same $1,600 job?

Singaporeans are screwed and truly screwed hard. And we are loving it. The number if foreigners are so staggering that in a few years' time they will overrun this tiny red dot of a country. Right now, over 40% of our newborn babies come from couples whom at least one is a foreigner. Schools and workplaces resemble the United Nations. Look around Orchard Road and many of the "Chinese" you see are actually Koreans, Chinese citizens, Japanese, Malaysian/Indonesian Chinese. Throw in the obligatory "ang-mohs"and Indians and you don't even know which ones are your countrymen.

I am not suggesting that we close our doors like North Korea (although both countries share simlarities). I am hardly as xenophobic and racist as our friend Pauline Hanson from Down Under. While globalization is here to stay, our importing of so many "foreign talent" brings to mind Paris Hilton and her "open legs" policy on a Saturday night. Too many people in one tiny space - which reminds me of Miss Hilton again.

Do we really need so many FTs? Last time I checked, our country was still among the smallest in the world and our economy booming like our birth rate. It used to be that foreigners came to Singapore to do slave jobs no Singaporean would think of doing, or slot themselves in very well-paid positions in top management (usually Westerners get these). Now, they are here to fight with us for every job in every sector you can think of.

Rejected by default. A second class citizen in your own country.

I am not averse to having a little competition. However, I prefer to do so on an equal footing. How is a Singaporean to compete with a foreigner who asks for less pay, work longer hours, kowtow to the boss like his balls depend on it (it does: the employment pass lasts about as long as his being employed), and DO NOT have to return for three weeks of reservist duty every year?!

Indeed, why would any hiring manager employ a Singaporean? Okay, so maybe the bloke from Afghanistan insists on wearing a turban and speaks little English, but hey, he costs only $1,000! His academic credentials may be suspect, but he can still do the same job as a graduate from NTU or NUS. Maybe he's not so knowledgeable about laws and safety issues. There's nothing a nice coffee break or lunch treat with the auditors cannot solve. Throw in the KTV expenses and you still save money in the end. You can also be sure that the bloke will not disappear for three weeks at some impromptu time in the year.

$1,000 for one graduate from Al-Holey-Halal-Beef-Pork-WestCairo University or $3,000 for a local graduate from NTU who AWOL annually? You decide.

Our regime keeps wailing about our low birth-rates and the need to achieve work/life balance. Oh please shut up! How in the Abyss are you going to find time for dating when you boss expects you to work yourself to death for the company?! For some of us, working overtime is an obligation, meaning no overtime pay. (It is ALWAYS our fault if we do things slowly and inefficiently and cannot finish our work before five). When in doubt, the manager/boss is always right and if you are not happy, get lost - the management is itching to replace you with cheap labor from Sudan.

Buried under work. It's your fault for not working smart!

So we are not having enough sex. I wonder how the prudes in our regime can lecture us about sex when it's apparent from the way they speak they clearly haven't had any since the last time England won a trophy in football. It is not that we don't like sex. It's just that we are too damn tired from work, overtime and part-time studies to" exercise". And the regime never gets tired of telling us to upgrade ourselves or lose out in the climate of globalization. There goes your weekends and family day.

Work/life balance is largely an urban legend. If you were in top management, earns big bucks and can afford a Mercedes that can take you from Tuas to East Coast Park in 30 minutes flat then yes, congratulations on your transcendental balance both in your bank accounts and life. For the rest of us, it's work, studies, the credit on the flat and bank loans, payments on the kids' schooling, insurance, fear of retrenchment, monthly expenses, trying to find some time for the better half and the valiant attempt to find some quality time in bed (I don't mean sleeping), and the wretched train journey the morning after your "quality time" in bed.

Back to the foreigners. In the current climate, employees will be very discriminating in their hiring process. Spare me the crap about managers being very busy and have no time to read through resumes - they will. Remember, you have plenty of people fighting for one post and you can cherry pick and in the end it's all about value for money. First class honours degree on your resume? That bloke who spent six years to complete his bachelor's scores first (cheapest) on his Expected Salary column. Then there is Moha Diabee son of Precious grandson of Dickson Imbecilhamed (degree from XYZ University) who promises to work like a dog for even $500 less than the slacker who wasted six years in university. It's all a Dutch auction and there is only one winner.

Perceived value for money. Cheap labor. Cheap. When in doubt, go cheap. Foreigners are cheap. Locals are expensive. Go figure. Go cheap. Their quality may not be guaranteed. Their resumes may be fake. They may not understand the culture. But it's all right. They are cheap. Just close one eye and all will be well.

They are still allowing foreigners in like water in the present climate. I am certain Singaporeans who lose their jobs will be happy to take a massive pay cut to compete with these "foreign talents". That is, of course, if the pathetic salaries they ask for can offset the rising transport fees and expenses. I cannot imagine what is going to happen to the poor sods who are married and have children. Quarreling over money and household expenditures. The wife gets sick of her bum of a husband and spreads her legs for some rich - probably foreigner - who is romantic in his spending. The children are screaming for more toys when their parents are struggling to keep their jobs. It does make you see life in a new perspective and brings a new dimension to the catastrophic mating campaign called Romancing Singapore.

If the regime is going to continue importing more foreigners, may I offer they be selective about it. First of all, STOP taking in these Chin-nas from China. They are loud, coarse, rude, and quite a few of their women end up moonlighting under the glamorous red lights of Geylang. Others become experts at snaring desperate local men whom are rejected by our own women (apparently our sweat and tears, trials and tribulations during two wasted years in national *services* can't compare to the romantic and sensitivity that ONLY a well-heeled and well-traveled Caucasian bloke can provide). It's all about the citizenship and nothing about love. As for the Chinese blokes well... I may be biased here, but I get the feeling they are here to have fun instead of studying because their rich folks from Red China want the best for their "best and only darling boy."

Import some ladies from South America please. They are hot, passionate and friendly. They are always in the running for Miss World and Miss Universe. Think Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, and Mexico (okay it's Central American but the country produced Salma Hayek). Anyway, these Latinas are piping gorgeous and if we get maybe 5,0000 over here I bet my house our birth rate will go up. Out with the mercenary, materialistic, bimbotic, loud, and uncultured China women. Throw the lot (remember to keep a few gems of course) to the States. Better still, throw them to Wall Street! These Americans and their FAT cats deserve them.

Real talent please. We might win the Miss Universe pageant one day.

Import some Arabic ladies as well. Yes, they may be Muslim but we are a multi-cultural society and as long as they integrate themselves I don't see any problem. Hell, they might even promote true racial harmony better than these stupid campaigns we have been enduring for since our Independence. I mean, you don't want to be racist to your hot girlfriend from Saudi Arabia and end up cold and lonely in bed. That will be so stupid.

I have a feeling that these lovely ladies (oh truly 1000 Nights of Arabia!) will enjoy staying in secular Singapore. No fashion police like those back at home. A bit of hair sticks out from the burkha - arrest. Accidentally show a bit of leg under the billowing and suffocating desert costume - arrest. Hold hands with a bloke in public - arrest and a possibility of your lover being stoned and you suffer some other grisly punishment. Here, we have no such stupidity. At any rate, we blokes, our friends in the police included will be more than happy to see 'em Arabic darlings walk around in a sexy tight dress. If you got it, flaunt it! Yeah!

Sexless in the City apart, I think we should also do more for Singaporeans. All these work schemes in the WSQ will amount to nothing if people cannot enrol due to work commitments. It's not that Singaporeans are lazy, but employees are often wary of the number of man-hours being wasted by allowing their employers to go for training. If you are pursuing a part-time degree, you can effectively rule yourself out - or be ruled out - by potential employers who think just because you are learning and improving yourself you are showing less commitment to the company. The phrase "learning organization" has been used so many times that it has become a cliche and an outright lie.

If the regime sincerely wants to help people, if they have even a shred of conscience (dare I ask too much) they should reimburse employers for the "loss of man hours' each time their workers undergo training. They should also put in place incentives for people who promote a learning environment and who honestly want to upgrade themselves. I am not asking for social welfare. I am just asking for a helping hand for people who want to learn so that they can contribute better.

Shorten the period for reservist training. If you cannot get a bunch of soldiers to work themselves into reasonable fitness when they have one whole year to prepare for their physical fitness test, then you ain't gonna achieve this miracle in say, 3 weeks. As we upgrade military technology do we really need to spent so much time doing very arduous military exercises when we should be looking at the best way to murder our enemies in the most effective manner?

Most of our soldiers have at least tertiary education, meaning we should be reasonably intelligent. Are you going to ask this lot to charge up the hills and swarm their enemies like the Red Army? Of course not! (I don't think half will make it up the hill in the first place.) Play to your strengths! Educated people are used to using their brains. Involve them in decision making and concrete discussions. Ask them how things can be improved. How to best utilize our technology and destroy our enemies. Some dirt and mud are to be expected in the military of course. I am not suggesting a pure classroom environment. But many things can be done more efficiently and effectively and every effort should be made to improve and expedite. Save resources, and more time can be given to our blokes for work and family.

Speaking about military service, I think it's only fair that if foreigners are going to stay here and pledge allegiance to the flag they should be made to do compulsory military service. It pisses me off when I see them rich foreign kids coming over to enjoy our citizenship and infrastructure and NOT having to work for the privileges they have. I don't have the statistics but I wonder how many of these will leave for some developed countries like the US and Canada when they are sick of life here. Our red passport is definitely a good platform if you want to emigrate. If these people are so damn loyal, prove it. Our lads in the army will definitely welcome some "Hanson", "Kim", "Li" and "Precious' in the book in/book out books. You want to talk about acceptance, and integration, about being part of the family?

Hit the ground and f**king suppress fire soldier!

Okay... I guess I should stop the rant now. Get back to Marketing 201 and Marketing Mix Management 203.

If you are offended, please leave your hate mail in the C Box.

I'll put up some nice pictures in my next post.

Wordpress

I got myself a safe house on Wordpress today.

If Blogger's robots lock me out of my house again, I'll have somewhere to go.

I'll have to publish the same post twice, but this is a necessary evil. The cost of losing all my stuff should Blogger "confiscate" my house for good grossly outweighs the inconvenience.

I'm finding my way around the new house. Maybe I'll move into it if I really like it.

Home sweet home for now.

Spam Blog My Foot!

I received this message when I accessed falloutcat yesterday.

Hello,

Your blog at: http://falloutcat.blogspot.com/ has been identified as a potential spam blog. To correct this, please request a review by filling out the form at http://www.blogger.com/unlock-blog.g?lockedBlogID=8889613917367350667

Your blog will be deleted within 20 days if it isn’t reviewed, and you’ll be unable to publish posts during this time. After we receive your request, we’ll review your blog and unlock it within two business days. If this blog doesn’t belong to you, you don’t have to do anything, and any other blogs you may have won’t be affected.

We find spam by using an automated classifier. Automatic spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and occasionally a blog like yours is flagged incorrectly. We sincerely apologize for this error. By using this kind of system, however, we can dedicate more storage, bandwidth, and engineering resources to bloggers like you instead of to spammers. For more information, please see Blogger Help: http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42577

Thank you for your understanding and for your help with our spam-fighting efforts.

Sincerely,

The Blogger Team

P.S. Just one more reminder: Unless you request a review, you won’t be able to use your blog. Click this link to request the review: http://www.blogger.com/unlock-blog.g?lockedBlogID=8889613917367350667

When I logged in, I was instructed to enter a verification code to confirm I’m a human and not some auto-spam generating program.

After I completed this procedure, Blogger said they apologized on behalf of their *robots* for this false positive. I should be able to have my blog back after their humans had a look at it.

I’m delighted to have my ‘house keys’ back, but how can I be sure I won’t be locked out of my own house again?

Is it time for Blogger to rethink what they have been doing? This is not the first time this has happened to people (a quick Google proved my suspicion) and this will not be the last time we hear some vitriol from disgruntled bloggers.

Clearly, more intelligent programming is required. Instead of letting these inferior and brainless spam cleaners shut down sites indiscriminately, why not program them to mark down suspicious sites? Let the humans verify these sites first before locking them. It’s only logical to have the trial before the sentencing and execution, and not the other way round, like what Blogger is doing.

If Blogger wants to eradicate spam so badly, I suggest they replace their cheap-rate Wall-Es with something better.

Damn robots.

A Word

All right. New home.

I got to move my blog because the old one has become toxic.

There are bad people (animal) prowling the page and leaving droppings.

I have been going on about Atheism for the past month and to be frank, I need a break.

No fundies and intellectuals for me (last night was a HUGE mistake!) In the meantime I’ll try to be normal like other people.

I got managerial econs and marketing (exams) in a month’s time. I haven’t started - and should start now.

There’s also the little matter of finance. I need to send another 1,000,000,000 job applications.

Time to get back to football, martial arts and weight-training. Yes, weight-training.

I shall try to control my temper.

I shall refrain from writing about Atheism articles on this blog. I will get Alfred to invite people to guest-write on SingaporeAtheists but no Atheism for me any time soon.

This blog is purely personal. I shall write about mundane things. Nothing intellectual, philosophical or academic.

I shall only let a few friends know about my new address.

Having found my feminine side, I shall hereby refrain from swearing and using words that are ordinarily not found in a dictionary.

What else?

Think that’s about it.

Why did I Bother?

Jianyue introduced his friend to me last night. He should have warned me.

(I forgot what the bloke’s name is. Let’s just call him Nimrod.)

After saying our “hi”, we talked about atheism. And how we become atheists.

The ‘preliminaries’ concluded, Nimrod asked me if I ever thought about what happens after death, and if it bothers me.

I told him succinctly I couldn’t care.

Nimrod seemed taken aback at my lack of reverence. He questioned me further and I repeated my views.

Then he advised me to read philosophy. Tossing me the names of a couple of philosophers, Nimrod expounded existentialism and went on to explain the various offshoots of this branch.

I tried to get a word in, but Nimrod didn’t listen. Instead he continued typing. His typing speed was excruciatingly slow and after waiting minutes for him to finish, I got nonsense from him. I couldn’t make out what he was trying to get at. I had to ask Jianyue to translate.

Jianyue appeared just as lost. He advised me to be patient and that his friend’s a nice guy and all (we had a private msn window open.)

It was simply impossible to remain patient. I took the initiative and grilled him on what he wanted to say.

War erupted. We were totally opposite from each other and had no intention at reconciliation. Nimrod sees atheism only on a purely philosophical level. He believes that we should engage those who can think logically and ditch the atheists who are not intellectuals. His condescending attitude pissed me off and I told Nimrod that he should get off his ivory-tower, high-priced philosophy and stop his ego-onanism.

He retorted that I should read more and stop feeling sorry for ‘my lack of knowledge’. I should resolve my issues and not be so angry. Unfazed, I warned Nimrod to stop assuming things about me when he hasn’t even met me. (Funny how when you whack these intellectual types, they lose their objectivity and go personal.)

I explained to him the importance of engaging people on a personal level but all he wants is an arduous philosophical discussion at the table. Nimrod thinks philosophy is the only way to change the world. He’s not interested in ’stupid atheists’ who are just normal people.

Meanwhile I told Jianyue (on our msn window) that I was going to insult his friend. I had enough of this high-priced nincompoop and it was time that he got some real rollicking.

Immediately Jianyue interrupted us and tried to defuse the volatile situation. He might as well not bother. Nimrod started typing (again, very slowly) while Jianyue tried to pacify us, and I decided to get a few ‘quick ones’ in before Nimrod could finish his first word. The situation was tragicomic. Reminds me of the peace talks in the Middle East. Ceasefire, rocket attack, fight, ceasefire, suicide bombing, fight, talk, fight, ceasefire. Kind of like a sick merry-go-round.

I’d rather the two of us fight in a steel cage match. At least I’ll end his suffering quick.

In the end, we opted to retire for the night. Jianyue said we should meet up one day. Think my friend’s off his rocker.

Hell will freeze over before I sit down at a table with Nimrod!

And at 3am! People are happily shagging at this hour and I’m blasting another Dennis Oh.

Beautiful. I need to get a life.

Retail Therapy

After the Atheist meetup Pearl, Clara, Xianghong and I decided to shop around.

Best thing about Vivo City is its sheer size. You can spend the entire day walking in the mall and still be unsure if you have been to every shop. On the flip side, you can get lost easily.

And that was what happened to Xianghong and I. We followed the girls to the lady's department store and we fitted right in like bulls in a china shop. I still don't know why the colourful blocks of crayon on the rack didn't include yellow ones. The Lass rubbed it on her hand and said it's goldie (what's the difference between goldie and golden, or yellow-which they don't have?) I thought it'll be nice to use a yellow eyeliner though...

The clothes department was more fun. Drawing on his experience, the Teacher explained to us how to survive shopping with the missus. Judging from the approving nods of our female friends I think he's got it right. The fact that he's still alive and kicking also bears testimony to the effectiveness of his methods.

We tried to get the Lass to try on some dresses she liked, but no go. She said she would want to buy if she tried any on. I thought women like to try new clothes. Oh well.

Pearl asked us guys if we bought our clothes. Teacher said he outsources his shopping. We added that we will only shop when our clothes are in tatters. And yeah. Shopping for clothes for me is like, they don't have the right size. It's either too long, too short, too big and too short. Trials and tribulations of being a bloke.

Sometimes Pearl and the Lass would 'disappear'. Teacher told me not to panic. Said women can never get lost inside a departmental store. He's got a point. We were probably distracted from ogling the 'scenery' and lost sight of them as a result.

There was this mannequin in the lingerie department set in a provocative pose. 'She' was lying down and her arms were held above her head and one of her legs was raised. The Lass suggested that the brats running around nearby should use her legs as a slide. HAHA. They should. Might be worth the show.

Also learned something from the girls. The 'havoc-ness' ' of a girl is inversely proportional to the size of the bag she carries. Small handbags mean wild child. Mmm. Sort of like dogs. Smaller breeds like to bark more.....

Better stop before the hate mail starts coming.

We went to look at shoes afterwards. I was amazed at the heels on sale. How do you walk in these?! I mean, the sole is set at over 45 degrees and it's so high you are practically tip-toeing as you walk. Lass said it's possible. Then I saw some very high boots on the side rack. Asked the Lass why girls like to wear these things. To look sexy or to attract attention. She replied that it's because of the chic.

Killer heels. You can use these to fend off any perverts.

Chic? Personally I will definitely admire a leggy broad who walks around in a tight blouse, short skirts and these very high boots. Mmmmm. Sexy!

We went to Toys "R"Us next. While the Lass was somewhere in the aisles Pearl, Xianghong and I found ourselves astonished at the in-house barbers. Pay $18 and you can sit with your kid while he has his hair cut. There's music and cartoon in the background to guarantee you kid is distracted sufficiently to lose his hair. When we were kids, we only had the cheap haircut and Old Master Q's comics to read at the barber's. Kids are so pampered these days. The way parents splurge on their kids, it makes you wonder if there's actually a recession...

After much searching the Lass finally found her cube. One of those cubes that you can turn the faces and try to get an all colour (I have never succeeded at doing it.) Rather cute thingie I must say.

Had much fun in the toy store. Teacher and I couldn't get the Darth Vader mask to record "I am your father..." in Hokkien. Think you would have to wear it. Dang!

Lass came at me with a sword. Of all places, she had to point it at my navel. (must remember not to get on the wrong side of a woman). All we needed was a ring and it'll be 'my precious...' and a complete edition of a cheapo The Lord of the Rings.

The Transformers won't transform! Some transformers will transform at the flick of a button. Strange toys kids play with these days. Too damn lazy to even figure out how to transform a transformer and they will transform into our future without having ever transformed a transformer toy. So much for mutation and evolution. So much for intelligent design either.

We used to have real Transformers...

It's a pity Xianghong had to leave early. The three of us continued to shop.

It's my turn to get 'punked' when we found ourselves outside a men's clothing store. I was cajoled into going into the store and I felt ancient immediately. Pearl and Clara told me that I looked purrfectly fine when them T-shirts on. I said they make me look thinner and they said I look taller as well. The shirts at the bottom stand did look fine. The price -tags looked very 'nice' as well. Oh well, so much for my sense of fashion and dwindling treasury.

The three of us went to a bookshop and browsed around before going up to the third floor. We went in a store selling all kinds of stuff. There was one section Pearl and the Lass didn't want me to go. Err....... Anyway, we wandered around the place and we talked about kids and the frivolous Mother Nature. No kids allowed! Well, Mother Nature might yet make a comeback to the Lass! The Return of the Queen.

Lost Pearl after a while and spend the next 20 minutes searching for her. She was outside waiting for us. D'oh.

We finally settled at the top level of the mall. Pearl told us that we could be too intellectual as a group. We are behaving like we are fighting a war and that we are too belligerent in our 'war' against fundies. At this rate, we will gain and lose people very fast. The turnover rate will very high because all these intellectualism is too impersonal and eventually people will get tired of it. As a group, how much do we actually know about each other? How much can we talk freely about ourselves, share our lives and help each other out? People turn to religion because they are lonely, nobody wants to help them and listen, and then suddenly there's God. Why should we not interact on a more fun, personal basis instead of sitting down for intellectual discussions? The Lass concurred.

Powerful speech. Pearl has very good points. In the shop, they asked me how many female members we have and I was racking up my brain to find beyond four. Not everybody is an intellectual and wants to engage fundies in debates. Most people would rather want to have fun. Women are naturally less aggressive compared to us blokes. When a bloke is driving and some idiot cuts him off, he will swear at the fool and might chase after him to get his own back. A woman is likely to just dismiss the jerk and continue on her way.

Yes, I suppose evolution makes us blokes more competitive because we have to fight and win to get mates. Women can afford to be passive and let us idiots kill each other for their hand. Thankfully, women tend to be more emotional so that means she might give even a not so superior male specimen a chance if he can somehow make her laugh. (Mother Nature throws us losers a lifeline.)

But I am digressing. I don't think women are less atheistic or intellectual than us. They just don't see the point of engaging in long, drawn out intellectual battles - to win - when they can just do something else more interesting.

Same for us blokes too. Some of us at least. Many people are not truly intellectual and would rather not think too much. I am not an intellectual, although my peers and my enemies as well, think I'm one (I am sooooooo misunderstood). I would say most guys like to have fun and while it can be engaging to sit down and discuss philosophies, there's only so much entertainment you can get from Kant, Dennett, Nietzsche in the end.

All the philosophies in the world - they are male and frustrated.

I fully agree with Pearl and the Lass, that we should engage people on a more personal and affective manner. Have some activities other than discussion. I think we should rethink what we are doing.

With that in mind, we settled down alfresco next to a pool where kids are wading about. The Lass and I waded into the pool. Nice water and I'm delighted I didn't actually slip and drown myself.

So we sat and spend the next few hours pleasantly talking. Talked about everything that came to our mind. Now I know why women like to talk on the phone with each other on nothing in particular. (Any female reading this can just put the hate mail in my C-box thank you.) And it's - I must admit - invigorating in a way. (Dang. At this rate I'll become some sensitive new age guy, ubersexual, metrosexual or whatever.)

Lass said she will organize the next meetup. It'll be strictly non-intellectual and we will focus on eating and playing with non-intellectual objects. Balls and Frisbees. I'll be in perfectly natural surroundings and we'll see creatures and NOT talk about evolution. I'm all for the idea. I do hope people will come and make this event to remember. If it rains, we'll hit a cinema and catch an equally non-intellectual show (but still, no Paris Hilton in it please.) Our very first meetup that Atheism is not discussed. Wonderful! It will be momentous. Entrance fee is by-invite, no books allowed. Payment via fun.

Smile. Don't think so long. Just throw!

Anyway, the day soon turned into night. There was jazz (I think) in the background and it made for a nice soiree. I think we should learn to be Atheists without killing ourselves going at wingnuts and I hereby declare I'll outsource my running feud with the fundie. I'll announce it on singaporeatheists later.

So it's just waiting for our show to start.