A Meaningful Friday Night

Police Car returned from Thailand with stories to tell. He said that he got himself a girlfriend. He had been patronizing the message parlors every night when he was there. I enquired as to the price of whoring and he was only too happy to elaborate.

On average a massage costs 250 baht and ‘special services’ amount to roughly 1,000. The ‘fish tanks’ are beautifully designed and prettier still are the merchandise they stock. For a reasonable rate of 1,900 to 2,100 baht, you get to pick your ‘fish’, and enjoy your meat in a well furnished and comfortable room. They do not rush you. Two hours is more than sufficient for an invigorating bath, a soothing massage, deliberate foreplay and hot no-hold barred sex. The whore is usually friendly, and even after the sex, will keep you company until the clock is up.

Contrast that to the local scene. Here a massage costs $20 to $50; special services are charged at a rate of $60 to $100. (Note: The figures given are based on the general market rate. Very cheap or more expensive packages are not reflected.) The fish tanks are usually no bigger than the size of a very small kitchen, and the merchandise they stock often vary in quality, even amongst the same batch. A common package costs $50 for a time of 25 minutes. Another popular package charges a price of $100 – you get 50 minutes and the whore gives you a massage before the sex.

This data shows that it is more value for money to go whoring in Thailand.

His business report apart, Police Car also made some very astute observations. He contrasted Thailand women to their Singapore counterparts. (Note: Police Car is referring to normal ladies, not whores.) Anyway, his points include:

Thai girls are much friendlier. Getting the phone number of a pretty Thai girl you see on the streets or in the pub is as easy as ABC. Police Car claims that the success rate is 10 out of 10. In Singapore, you would should count yourself lucky if the girl you approach doesn’t give you a suspicious/dirty look, regardless her decision.

Thai girls are also prettier. In his words, our women ‘look like shit, still want to act high-class.’

Also related to the foregoing, Thai girls smile and make friends easily, without reservations. With our girls, it’s touch and go and their attitude can really stink.

Thai girls like to meet guys from other countries. To simply dismiss them as gold-diggers is making an unfair assumption based on discrimination. Police Car said that they don’t like guys from their own country because they have a propensity to get drunk and beat their partners. This claim was also seconded by an ex-friend. Singapore girls, on the other hand, prefer foreigners because they are perceived to be richer and more romantic. Sarong Party Girls, or SPGs for short, are the archetypal Singapore gold-diggers, utterly crass and all out for money. In short, Thai girls vs. Singapore girls is often a simple case of safety and security vs. wealth and glamour.

You never need to teach a Thai girl how to do housework. They are brought up to be responsible and hardworking. Singapore girls are like spolit princesses. Many do not even know how to cook; and baulk at doing even a bit of housework. They like to splurge on themselves but do not contribute much to the family. In fact - this is my view – that Singapore girls should be made to serve National Service to make them learn not to take their good fortune for granted.

Police Car said that he missed Thailand. Who wouldn’t? He suggested that we should get Chicken and organize a trip there sometime soon. A splendid idea! I trust that a few days out of Singapore should improve my health.

After Chicken arrived we went to Geylang. This place is heaven on earth. The bustling crowds, overfilled coffee-shops, brisk traffic and lovely night scenery reminds one of the old Chinatown. Neon lights of all colours bathe the dark lorongs. The whores and their ‘managers’ clamored for attention. Altogether these awaken a spirit that has been suppressed and lain dormant for too long. GL is a town that never sleeps. A town where people from all walks of life and dispositions congregate to celebrate the vibrancy of life itself. GL is the blood and soul of the land. Its truth cannot be denied, its face displays its scars of sleaze, desperation and grit proudly. Why should it be ashamed?! They gave it character! The existence of GL is a blight upon this infertile land, a desecration of the hypocritical morals from which we have fashioned our own yokes, its striving chaos mock our deliberate, insipid and hopelessly staid system, and is certainly the sole redeeming feature in our otherwise soulless and inhumane motherland.

Chicken, Police Car and I started the night at the bridge, as per our custom. In the first alley we walked, we were accosted by $30 whores. We espied a few who were surprisingly pretty, but chose not to take up their offer. After window-shopping in a few fish tanks, Police Car settled on his favourite girl in his most-oft frequented fish tank. (If the proprietor had any business sense, he should give him loyalty benefits.)

While our friend had his pleasure, Chicken and I enjoyed a leisurely stroll in the heart of GL. The quality of the Indonesian goods had deteriorated. The lady-boys looked as revolting. The Chinese merchandise of the three main price categories, $60, $80 and $100 maintained their usual variety and standards. (Not all goods made in China are bad.) Chicken and I took a rest behind Darlene hotel, which is the de facto ‘Central Business District’ (CBD) in GL. The best of the Chinese goods were right behind the CBD. The few whores standing there were among the most seductive among their sisters. While shooting the shit, Chicken and I also ogled these angels. If only every woman looked like that there would be no frustration.

After a while we walked back to find Police Car. We saw him just as he was emerging from the fish tank. As expected he had exceeded the timing and had to pay double.

‘The first 20 minutes the girl showed me the photos she took. Yesterday was her birthday,’ Police Car explained, ‘After that we do and she told me that I make her feel very shiok, unlike the other guys.’

Chicken and I rolled our eyes in disbelief. I hope they don’t get married so soon.

So the three of us walked around. We showed Police Car the sights that he had missed, and it goes without saying that it was quite an enjoyable exercise. Chicken couldn’t find the auntie who sold the delicious China cakes but in life you win some you lose some.

We returned to the back of the CBD area. Chicken excused himself to make a phone call to his Chinese squeeze while Police Car and I admired the scenery. Some time into our conversation I saw two familiar faces. Blong and Magneto seemed equally surprised to see us. We settled down and made small talk. They soon moved off to wherever they had intended to go.

They returned soon afterwards, and suddenly they quickly got up and sat a few metres from us. At first I couldn’t understand what had happened but as I saw a whore walk purposefully towards the pair, realization dawned. She started to chat with them and I could make out words like ‘it’s you’, and ‘coincidence’. Obviously Blong and Magneto had fun with the same whore before. That makes them ‘sperm brothers’.

I applaud their impeccable taste. She is really very beautiful. If I had money I wouldn’t mind taking my pleasure with her. She could have been a model and should be one. Standing at 5’ 7”, her movements are graceful and her deportment elegant. The black slinky outfit she wore accentuated her lithe and curvy figure and flaunted her enticing cleavage. Her legs are porcelain smooth; a man could run his hands along her creamy thighs all night. Her pretty face is a portrait of coquettishness, her knowing eyes tempered by hard experience. Indeed, most models in Singapore should look upon her and weep.

Chicken went over to the trio after he finished his phone conversation. They joked briefly. Then we bid farewell to Magneto, Blong and the whore. We went to a roadside restaurant along some obscure street and had supper. Although Chicken and I didn’t see any action, we quite enjoyed our Friday night. I had skipped my class for this and I never regretted my decision. I find the cloying voices of the whores as they call out to prospective clients more preferable – and meaningful – to the mumblings of my university lecturer.