A Beautiful Thursday Morning

I early spat out my coffee in disgust when I saw Andy Ho’s column in the Shite Times. In his highly laughable article ‘Why the Pope is not Entirely Wrong about Condoms’, this grotesque popinjay argues that while condom use has drastically reduced the HIV infection rates among sex workers in countries like Thailand, it might not be as useful in Africa, where the infection rate is high in the community, not just among a portion of the population. Because of this, abstinence is more effective than promoting the use of condoms. Andy Ho claims that in Uganda, a country which was the worst hit in HIV infections, promoting abstinence and having support groups have reduced HIV infections. He then went out to denounce the effectiveness of secular organizations, and in particular, the failure of one such group, in combating HIV infections.

Perhaps fearing pubic outcry, Andy Ho stops short of saying condoms do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases. However, his restraint does not disguise some facts which are immediately apparent to the discerning reader. First, as a ‘senior writer’, Andy Ho is incompetent and in this article demonstrates his ineptitude in addressing key issues in a balanced and logical fashion. Second, he is absolutely shameless. If I were Andy Ho, I would resign from my post. How can anyone with a shred of conscience and decency justify his position as a professional writer when he produces such balderdash?! Third, he fails to recognizes the instinctive need for sex. People are going to have sex regardless of what the Pope says and to claim abstinence and fidelity as the sole preventive measure - however implicit he puts this message across – is nothing short of myopic and selectively so. Fourth, the success of Uganda in combating AIDS by promoting abstinence and family values does not render condoms ineffective. Fifth, his assertions that secular organizations that promote condom use are not so effective in Africa because of ‘different’ circumstances do not hold water. I would argue that if it hadn’t been for the work of these secularists, the infection rates would have been much higher. Sixth, studies have shown that condoms prevent sexually transmitted diseases and it would be a crime against humanity if their use is not promulgated. Seventh, the HIV virus can also be transmitted through intravenous drug use and from mother to child. Overemphasis on the abstinence message stupidly overlooks other aspects of the same problem and will inevitably pervert efforts to combat this disease. Eighth, over the years, some Christian and Catholic priests have been telling their congregations that condoms do not prevent HIV infection. This has surely contributed to many deaths. Andy Ho conveniently neglects to mention this in his hopelessly skewed article and instead, takes the easy route of bashing secularism. Ninth, the Pope and his Church can hardly consider themselves to be a role model of abstinence, fidelity, virtue, chastity and celibacy when they cannot even keep their own priests from buggering altar boys. Indeed, religion has no right to intrude in the realm of science, given its propensity to make unverifiable claims and in return render no true attempt in justifying their postulations. Last but not least, just as safety helmets do not reduce complacency and self-preservation in the face of danger, promoting condoms do not negate abstinence and fidelity.

My reading and breakfast were interrupted by a persistent knocking at the door. I answered it and saw two haggard bag ladies. The older one had a pamphlet. Behind her stood her friend, who looked younger but no more attractive.

Faced with this depressing scenery I looked at them and said, ‘Yeah?’

‘Do you speak Chinese?’ Old Bag asked in Chinese.

I immediately guessed their intent and nodded.

‘Do you want to know more about God – ‘

I interrupted her and said harshly in Chinese, ‘There is no god in this world.’ The ingratiating look on her wrinkled face turned into one of dismay. Her friend was taken aback.

‘Go!’ I dismissed them as I would a dog.

The pair turned to knock at my neighbors’ door – they are Muslims – and I became more fed up.

‘Don’t befuddle the public with your wicked lies!’ I ordered, ‘Go!’ I then closed the door.

My heart was thumping wildly when I returned to my seat. I had to take deep breaths to calm myself. Adrenaline raced through my veins and at that moment I saw how much I hate religion.

I told Earthworm to write a column to rebut Andy Ho. He can publish it in his school publication. He said he would read the article first.

‘Why the Pope and Andy Ho are Hopelessly Wrong about Condoms’ Any takers?