A Tribute to Monica Bellucci

It is time somebody write a tribute to Monica Bellucci. Michael Jackson may have passed on, but enough has been said about that legend, so let us move on, and contemplate a legend that is fortunately, still with us.

The first time I saw Monica Bellucci – it was in Malena – I truly fell in love. I had never beheld such superb acting skills. Bellucci gave her character life, every piece of dialogue she spoke was heartfelt, and her portrayal of the war widow driven to desperation heartrending. I left the cinema humbled and forever a willing supplicant to this most beauteous of goddesses.

Words cannot adequately describe her charisma. Her screen presence is legendary. She can brighten an insipid script like no other. All the CGI and the convoluted plots combined can never add up to her natural grace and talent as she sashays her way to cinematic perfection.

Her curves can make a blind man see, and her smile turns the darkest night into the brightest day. The form of the most tempting succubus, and radiant with the soul of the purest angel. A one woman Victoria’s Secret fashion show - the Angels look like imposters next to this seductress. Belluci truly embodies the epitome of beauty. She is the perfect woman – all others pale in comparison.

All women should aspire to be like her. If all women were like this, there would be no frustration. Wars will cease, poverty will become a thing of the past, natural disasters will not occur, and universal love and humanistic values will reign supreme unto generations.

Her qualities as an actress are impeccable, and her virtues as a woman beyond reproach. An intellectual’s muse, and a philistine’s fantasy. Had they set eyes on Bellucci, Helen of Troy would have wept in despair, and Narcissus would never have fallen in love with his own image. Men of all races, nations, religions, classes and dispositions will stand united as they pay homage to this living Aphrodite.

Hollywood should be condemned for offering her only bit-part roles in mediocre movies. Tears of the Sun, The Matrix, The Brothers Grimm… - these do not do justice to her immeasurable talent. If there is any justice, Monica Bellucci should have made a clean sweep of every award every time she stars in a movie.

The fact that Tara Reid and Cameron Diaz get more screen time and roles than Belluci in Hollywood movies is a vicious indictment of Hollywood’s detestable parochial attitude. American actresses are too often overrated and it is time the American directors, whose brains have gone south along with their overfed bellies, learn to give foreign film actresses, especially Bellucci, the recognition they so richly deserve.

Monica Belluci should be in Transformers 3. The sight of her will transform any emasculated and impotent man into the most virile Adonis. Even robots will short-circuit themselves as they realize the truth of the most superb piece of engineering before them.

It is often said that a woman depreciates with age. Not so for Monica Bellucci. I would say she is one of the rare few who appreciate as they become older, but to do so would be to put a value on something that is priceless. She is The MLIF of the film industry, and when she becomes a grandmother she will surely be The GLIF. Her timeless beauty puts women half her age to shame. Her smile can launch a thousand ships, and her voice makes them sail.

The world will never see the likes of such perfection again. Each film by Bellucci and every appearance she make should be cherished and treated like the most precious of treasures. It will be a black day when she retires from acting. May her daughter inherit every quality of her talented mother. Let the divine essence of the Bellucci line live forever, so that it inspires future generations as it inspires the current.