The Devil is by no means the worst that there is; I would rather have dealings with him than with many a human being He honours his agreements much more promptly than many a swindler on Earth. To be true, when payment is due he comes on the dot; just as twelve strikes, fetches his soul and goes off home to Hell like a good Devil. He’s just a businessman as is right and proper.
J. N. NESTROY, Hollenangst
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The English Premiership’s 'Survival Sunday' was a comedy. You would have thought all the relegation threatened clubs would have made a fist of it but they all lost abjectly. Boro tied the scores at 1:1 only to see their keeper let slip a shot into the net. Sunderland lost to Chelsea 3:2 at their Stadium of Light. Hull City were comprehensively outplayed by a second-string Man Utd side, and their rivals Newcastle surrendered tamely to Villa.
Funnily, the only club in the bottom five that managed to pick up a point (a goalless draw with Blackburn ) was already relegated West Brom. They could even have won it, but their profligate finishing had been their Achilles heel all season and it tormented them to the final day.
Wild celebrations greeted the final whistle at the KC Stadium. To an unwitting observer, the scenes of jubilation might have suggested a trophy won after a hard-fought victory. Rarely has a side celebrated so hard and with such a strange mixture of disbelief and relief after losing a critical tie, but Hull City and their legions of delirious fans are beyond caring. The Tigers had been playing hopeless football, but so had Boro, Newcastle and WBA. The only reason why they will be playing in the Premiership next season is that for all their ineptitude, the aforementioned clubs, were incredibly, worse.
After so many false dawns, Newcastle finally got the fate they deserve. Despite a second place finish in the first Keegan era, a few Champions League appearances and a couple of FA Cup Finals, Newcastle were never, as their fans suggested ad nauseam, a big club. The Barcode Army do not have a divine right to be in the Premiership, and for the next season at least, Premiership fans won’t have to hear any more of that “We deserve to win trophies’ nonsense.
Everton secured a fifth place finish after their victory at Fulham. Alan Shearer was touted as the ‘Messiah’ when he took over at Newcastle with eight matches remaining. If there is truly a Messiah, then it is David Moyes, who unlike Shearer, has lived up to his billing season after season.
Despite a horrible start to the season, Moyes had not only steadied the ship, but steered it to richer waters. A fifth place finish and a date with Chelsea for the FA Cup are more than just rewards for a club that is skint. Admittedly Everton may not be challenging for the Premiership title or even a top four finish, but Moyes has forged a resilient side that is hard to beat and he must be given credit for that.
Chelsea will be favourites to lift the FA Cup but Everton, after seeing off the likes of Liverpool (also called the Shite), Villa and Man Utd, must fancy their chances. It will be all blue at Wembley, and hopefully another ‘Ovrebo’ will not overshadow what will be a magnificent final. Win or lose, this will surely be the best season for the Blues since Joe Royle and Co lifted the Cup so long ago.
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