Strange, very strange.

Some smartass once said that life is what you make of it.

What would he have made of this?


SMSes:

Police Car at 1.11 pm: Xian ah xian. Will u be able to help me with 1k?i will pay u back by july. (I thought his next payday is on the 10th of June?)

Police Car at 1.15pm: This is really urgent. Concerns life and death.

Police Car at 1.19pm: At the most the next time i treat u to geylang for the best CN spec lor. Until u drool

Police Car at 1.43pm: Xian.how?can help?

Me at 1.46pm: No $ (I'm unemployed remember?) Try the guys in the trade. You can also ask Rama - he saves a lot. (Our roles should be reversed. An airforce staff sergeant who wastes the taxpayers' money every month now wants handouts from a struggling student. We should be on Ripley's Believe it or Not.)

Police Car at 1.48pm: I thought u gonna do street protest?hahaha (Pinkdot is an event, not a protest.)

Me at 1.50pm: What protest? By the way, protesters don't get paid at all. (In fact they attract police attention faster than Mas Selamat if he were to do a striptease in front of the Parliament House.)

Police Car at 1.51pm: Putting on e pink shirt and protest. Carrying a flag. Haha

Police Car at 1.53pm: Ok. Help me think of 4 numbers. Once strike! That's it. (I am a god now, and my first act upon my deification is to dispense winning lottery numbers. )

Me at 1.56pm: Why don't you seek help from your pastor? I'm sure the church would be more than willing to help. (As if pigs can fly.)

Me at 1.57pm: 9413 (rythmes with "Nine Dead One Live" in Cantonese/Mandarin.)

Police Car 1.57pm: Than if everyone seek him 4 help than he broke (My, how noble. What about me?)


Not satisfied with this meaningless exchange via messaging, Police Car called me to continue the meaningless exchange via oral conversation. I can't remember exactly every word, but the conversation was roughly like this:

Police Car: ARRRRRGH.

Me: Eh?

Police Car: The 9413 got open meh?

Me: It's certainly possible. 0000 has "opened" before.

Police Car: Eh? Why 9413?

Me: Good number.

Police Car: Why leh?

Me: The other night Chicken and I saw this "fierce" car with 9413 on its number plate.

Police Car: What loh! Must be one lousy car lah.

Me: No. Nonono. It's actually quite a good car. We also saw 0666.

Police Car: Chicken that time said throw $2 go and buy Toto or 4D. If strike, ho say liao!

Me: Yeah.

Police Car: So how much should I buy?

Me: Depends on you.

Police Car: Then how much?

Me: $10.

Police Car: $10! If lose then everything die liao. (Of course! You think Singapore Pools will refund you money?)

Me: You must have faith.

Police Car: But $10...

Me: Is your faith worth less than $10? (So is a mustard seed.)

Police Car: If I strike I treat you to CN spec. She can wear nurse or whatever uniform you like. (Anything but airforce uniform please.)

Me: I prefer that she dresses up like Mother Teresa.

Police Car: HAHAHAHA!

Me: Yes. We can do the missionary position together.

Police Car: HAHAHAHA! So 4D how to buy? (Acerbic wit is wasted on fools.)

(I then explained to him what "Big"and "Small" mean on the payout stakes. He interjected occasionally to clarify his doubts.)

Police Car: Okay okay. I go buy.

Me: Ciao.