My project group for Managerial Accounting was truly mediocre. Indeed, I was most privileged to be part of it. Seeing our discussion on Good Friday yielded no concrete results, we forced ourselves to attend what we knew to be an insipid Saturday lecture. O didn’t bother to turn up. He should have just told us straight that he was not interested. We would understand. In fact, I myself was more intrigued by the fairly buxom girl sitting in the far corner than I was in my lecturer’s Avram Grant impersonation.
After the lecture, my project mate S and I decided we would just fuck it and write whatever we could. I later discovered, to my chagrin, that the drafts for the essay questions I complied for my mates’ benefit returned to me in roughly their original state. I finished question 5, which was worth 10 marks in 600 words. One guy sent me several copies of question 6 (worth 25 marks) before settling on a final copy containing the same number of words. I spent my Sunday morning in a state of despair. I hurriedly corrected the grammar mistakes, elaborated on the points and added a few of my own. After 40 to 50 minutes of feverish typing I churned out another 500 words. It was rubbish, no doubt about it. Still, beggars can’t be choosers and I had had enough of the damn report. This Managerial Accounting case study must have been written by a maniac. The essay questions were worth 47 marks alone. I thought accounting was all about numbers. Obviously I was wrong.
I quickly sent my bullshit to my mates and asked them to proofread it. O remained unserviceable and uncontactable. S quickly compiled the report – he probably just glanced through my claptrap – and then sent the final report to us for our check-through. I took about thirty seconds to make sure all the answers were there. I gave him the go-ahead and there concluded our sorry partnership.
O couldn’t give a damn. S didn’t as well. I couldn’t be bothered as long as Avram Grant II didn’t give us less than 13.33% for the stupid assignment. I just need another 4 overall marks to hit the required 40% passing grade for the assignment component of the course. Even rag-and-bone men pay at least a few coins for trash yeah?
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The Liang brothers, a girl named Cassandra and I practised martial arts yesterday. We started with some basic hitting, but I didn’t get to punch for long. The scabs on my left knuckles broke and blood oozed. I had to stop and clean the wounds. The bleeding soon abated but I couldn’t punch left-handed, lest I dripped all over the floor. (I hope this does not turn into a once in a month thing.)
After the preliminary hitting segment, we split into pairs. Xiangrong and Cassandra discussed about how their master (ex-master now) and the school are doing. Their former instructor is now left with five students. Apparently the bloke could not retain his senior students. Being of the old school type, he refused to teach his students the actual martial applications of each form until they were deemed to be sufficiently proficient. As a result his senior students defected and he had to handle the teaching by himself without their assistance. The class dwindled and he now has to survive on his income as a hawker.
He may be Shaolin-trained, but the finest martial artists don’t always make good businessmen. Obviously martial art schools should include business modules in their curriculum. One cannot live on fists alone. Anyway, Cassandra’s defection is our gain. We always welcome new practice partners.
Xianghong and I discussed about our martial arts techniques. There are similarities between our styles, such as circular movements and leaping moves. In fact his style does not resemble a Southerner’s. Anyway, I showed him how to do the ‘fa’. This technique requires you to move your arms parallel to your body while keeping them in a straight line and then simultaneously push one hand out in front and your other hand towards the back, We also discussed about the whirlwind and leaping kicks and the techniques for executing them.
I gave him a few pointers on how to pass his standing broad jump. Going back for reservist training is already a waste of time. We don’t need to add remedial training (for failing the stupid annual IPPT) to the list of meaningless obligations we owe our *motherland*. I hope my friend will pass the damn test. One of my project mates has to go for remedial training every Thursday just because he failed by one chin up. All the trouble for one miserable chin-up! Hell. I would take the damn test for them if I could. I don’t think my friends deserve to waste their precious time and energy for this stupid cuntry.
Where was I? Oh yeah we had our final round of group practice before Cassandra and Xianghong left. Xiangrong and I continued our training by smacking each other with a variety of kicks, punches and elbows. I hate my side kick. It makes me look like a duck about to lay an egg. We also set the hitting pad against the wall and slammed our elbows into it, much to the disgust of the kids practising their dancing several yards away. We had to stop, not because we were mindful of their feelings, but for the fact that the wall was in danger of collapsing. The bottom side of the marble slab had moved half a centimetre inwards. This was not a testimony to our skills, but an indictment of the building contractor’s. (Why am I thinking of Nicole Highway as I am writing this?)
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History was made tonight. Support for my Business Law II lecturer was overwhelming; the class was overfilled. Latecomers could not find a seat. My lecturer had to ask those who didn’t belong in his class to leave. Initially nobody moved. It was only when the bloke said that he would start to take class attendance that the ‘illegal immigrants’ began to find their good sense. And even then, he had to threaten the class a few times before more people took the threat seriously. It would have been easier if he had made good on his threat at the expense of ruining the class atmosphere. I certainly wouldn’t mind.
My university should sack the other Business Law II lecturers. It reflects badly on a lecturer when his students defect to another. If it had not been for the limited seats in the classroom, I suspect the illegal immigrants would have arrived en masse. While students generally like a lecturer who dispenses tips freely, the said situation was tragic and wretched. It truly brought out the ugliness in people. Seeing the lengths they went to just for a few assignment hints, one could hardly imagine what they would do if the stakes were much higher. I am a cynic, but even I feel disturbed. Intellectualizing about human nature is one thing. Experiencing it first-hand is a different animal altogether. Is it humans or just Singaporeans? I remember my Marketing lecturer, who is French, telling us that in Western countries people pay according to the amount of food they buy at the supermarkets. There are no weighing scales or price tags to compel them to do so; they – or most of them – don’t cheat.
After class my depression was exacerbated when my project mate P asked me if I could finish the remaining question. She said that her group mates for her Marketing module wrote rubbish and she had to do the whole project herself. (For all their incompetence, they have managed to survive into the third year. How…strange.) I replied I don’t mind helping out. The other girl is apparently too busy in her work. I think I am used to such things by now.
I continue to wonder if I am in the right course. Half the time I ended up as the proofreader for my groups. In maths-related modules I was usually the one tackling the essay/theory questions. This is ridiculous. What am I, an editor?
Writing a business essay is not difficult. Just make sure your points are valid, put them across in simple language and basically your job is done. Nobody is asking for fantastic vocabulary or style. This is a Business degree, not Shakespeare Appreciation 101. What is so damn terrifying about writing? I don’t mind doing it but it gets tiring after a while.Things are seriously wrong when some people don’t even deign to provide you with arguments and points for theory questions. They just look confused and expect answers to drop from the sky.
I understand that some people are terrible at writing. I don’t blame them because everybody has his strengths and weaknesses. As an ex-engineering student myself I know how we suck at putting thoughts to paper, and many of my peers were in engineering and IT. But would it kill anybody to think critically and exercise the creativity that Mother Nature had installed in them? If you don’t want to write, fine. Leave the ‘smoking’ to me. I can smoke my way out of nearly anything - but only if you give me sufficient ‘ammo’. I assume we want to end up in management because we are all suffering for the lousy degree. People in management like to talk cock and often come up with stupid ideas and suggestions. If you can’t even bullshit a little for a lousy assignment question, I suggest you quit the course now. The university also offers Engineering and Culinary courses. I am sure they don’t require bullshit, unlike Business.
And it seems that Business students are getting the short end of the stick. I have ranted about this and I am going to rant again. I don’t understand why in Tartarus we are overburdened with group and individual assignments, video presentations and online quizzes when the Art students (or whatever they are called in my university) just have to submit a few 2,000 word essays. The excruciating workload aside, their lecturers seem to be more lenient in their grading. XH said one guy in his class got a pass for producing maybe 500 words for a 2,000 word essay. And the average grade for his class is A. I might be wrong, but I don’t think the standards of our English Language students are that impressive. Best of all, they are allowed late submissions. We cannot even be a second late. Should we submit our assignment an hour before the 12pm deadline and can’t get it through due to the heavy traffic, it is OUR FAULT. Instant ZERO. No amount of begging, sobbing and pleading will get you anywhere. Okay maybe if your entire family got slaughtered they might make an exception. Otherwise ZERO.
Miss Sporty told me that she went through her Mass Communications degree in NTU on a part time basis. I felt fucked. Violated. Buggered. Raped. Cheated. Disenfranchised. Robbed. If I had known they offered a part time Mass Communications degree I would have robbed the fucking bank for it. Okay, I wouldn’t have to go to that extent. As NTU is regime-funded, I could pay my school fees using my CPF.
The reduced group work makes the course a mouth-watering prospect. Looking at my Business assignments, if I had to do my ‘smoking’ solo despite having a group, I might as well go for a course that often makes working alone compulsory. Not like there’s any difference.. Bloody Hell I don’t even think I need to do that accused video presentation! I would rather learn how to write a press release (more smoking!) than balance some goddamn accounts and wear a mask 24/7, backstab people and in general behave like an asshole without looking and smelling like one. Fuck the corporate world.
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Our Good Friday meetup ended in abject disappointment. Only Xianghong and I turned up. JY suddenly had school work and Gabby was uncontactable. Most of whom we invited and/or messaged didn’t reply. So much for our first anniversary.
I am a bit disgusted. There are people who actually bother to sign up for an Atheist group, some of whom are apparently so delighted at finding Atheists around but when it comes to a meetup, won’t even bother to reply whether they are coming. If you are not coming, tell me straight. I am not forcing anyone at gun point and saves me a lot of trouble. It is no joking matter contacting 10, 20 people and then reminding them a few days earlier before the event of the time and date. There are people who have never replied. And they are as atheist as they go – or claim to be.
Instead of attending Good News Singapore, XH and I decided to walk to Geylang for dinner. It was a fitting response and a tribute to the cause of Atheism. After we had our fill of our overpriced slop we tried to do a video on GL. We didn’t manage to film anything because even without the whores around, the lookouts were quite protective of their territory. When XH took out his camera in front of Darlene Hotel, immediately the bloke standing behind us glared and moved towards us. I told XH to keep his camera.
The only action we saw was a raid. A crowd had gathered to watch a white van packed full with whores. A squat goblinoid of a police officer was driving the onlookers back, shouting imprecations as he did so. I peeked into the van and saw Indonesian whores. Good. They didn’t get the Chinese merchandise. There were a few other white vans around the corner, but they were empty. I hate the bloody fuzz. I wonder if Goblinoid would be so arrogant if he were without his badge. Maybe if I ever see him in another country…
I walked my friend around, explaining to him the selection of goods that could be found at each lorong. Without the actual merchandise present, my tutorage was quite a difficult one. I decided to bring XH to the fish tanks to supplement the education. There were only a few whores available in the few establishments we went into. With the streets emptied of ‘black market’ goods, the legitimate businesses enjoyed an increased revenue. An example of simple economics, supply and demand.
After that I decided to continue XH’s education in another part of Singapore: Bugis. On our way to the train station we saw an old man, shirtless, sleeping in a rubbish heap, with his head stuck in a particularly malodorous part of it. He was so still, so oblivious to the smell that I thought he was dead. This was a Uniquely Singapore sight. We have no beggars. Yeah right. I don’t even think that hoboes around the world – okay maybe in certain parts of Asia – live like this. I am dead certain no hobo in a first world country looks as wretched as Mr. Rubbish Heap here. It was a pity that in our jadedness we forgot to snap a few shots. Kodak moment.
In Bugis I showed XH where certain establishments could be found. The backstreets of Bugis were seedy yet vibrant, like GL but without the whores and cheap Indian and Bangladesh laborers. Groups of yuppies smoked Arabic weed in front of the shops. As we walked along the darkened streets we saw revelers enjoying their soiree. A percussion from an Indian shop or somesuch stirred our blood as we passed it. It was like we were in Sin City, albeit a much sleepier version of it.
The shopping centres I took my friend were empty husks of what they had been. Save for one KTV lounge, their male-oriented health industries were no more. Thanks to the bloody and sexless regime in this cuntry, a man can’t even get his rocks off. I hope the fools don’t keep their pretense of Confucian morality – I personally think that it would have been better for China and the Chinese if that hypocrite Confucius didn’t exist or were killed before he could utter his pedantic ejaculations – or else two things will happen. First, the sex crimes in this cuntry will escalate. Second, men will go to neighboring countries to stimulate their economies because the whores there are cheap and readily available. A country run like clockwork will fall like clockwork.
There wasn’t enough time for me to bring XH to a shopping mall which its ‘health industry’ is still left unmolested. Oh well. We will get the chance. Maybe we will organize an Atheist meetup for this exact purpose. Male bonding. I think we should be able to get some proper attendance.
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I think being an Atheist sucks. Many of us love to laugh at theists being dumb and believing in all kinds of nonsense and doing all sorts of stupid shit like speaking in tongues and flagellating themselves in some religious-inspired masochism. Look at us! We cannot even get our own backyard in order and we are laughing at the people who can do it. If that is not shamelessness, I don’t know what it is.
I have evolved to a state where the question of whether Gawd exists has ceased to be of any relevance. If It ever existed, and exists still, It is unworthy of worship and therefore should be abolished. Why should It be worshipped, when It is merely a servant of He Who Is Greater? Why split the profits with the middle man?
On the other hand, if Gawd never existed, I would neither lose nor gain anything. Yet one cannot deny the power of organized mass delusion. They may be stupid, but they will crush the intelligentsia by their spit alone. Weak individually, strong collectively. And they are the exemplar of collectivism.
It has been said that herding Atheists is like herding cats. I think this statement is wrong. Not all cats are solitary as they seem. Lions live in prides, and even ‘solitary’ cats like cheetahs coordinate in a hunt. And all cats, regardless of size or temperament, fight ferociously when threatened. Atheists don’t deserve to be compared to cats. We couldn’t work together if our lives depended on it. And some of us are so docile they justify their cowardice and inertness with Kant, Nietzsche, the brain-in-the-jar theory, the eternal regression and other philosophies which they take great pleasure in regurgitating to order to show their ‘superior’ intellect and ‘vast’ learning and at the same time hide their deficiencies. Philosophy has been described in the textbooks as ‘thinking for the sake of thinking’. So where’re the applications? What’s the point of going ad nauseam about Hegel and the virtues of his philosophy when you can’t - or won’t – use what you learn?
For all their learning, intellectuals and their ilk the pseudo-intellectuals have failed miserably. They live so high in their ivory towers they are perpetually on cloud nine and never notice what happens on the ground. They only realize shit happens when the entire edifice collapses and they are on the ground with the philistines and unwashed masses they have derided as being inferior, uncouth and uneducated. Same applies to moderates and liberals. Oh we must be politically correct, we need more information, we can’t judge immediately, we must discuss in detail and lay everything out properly, Socrates said…yabba yabba abracadabra.
Not all Atheists are intellectuals (although many whom I met think themselves as such), but most are moderates and liberals. Atheists are stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. There, I said it four times. When XH and I wrote that ‘Atheism is an Abject Failure’ article, we (I actually got all the stick) were lambasted by a few atheists. If I may be shameless, it’s actually a brilliant article (the lousy English notwithstanding), as it highlights various points on why Atheists are pathetic compared to the theists. Apparently some people can’t handle the truth and instead of attacking my arguments, attacked me personally. Atheists are logical and relies on reasoning. Indeed.
Then there were Atheists who for some reason, do not wish to be associated with Atheism. They prefer to call themselves agnostics and freethinkers. Sadly, they don’t even know what agnosticism means. And from listening to them talk about their beliefs, it becomes apparent they are atheists. Agnostics are easily the worst of the lot. Those who actually know what agnosticism means like to demand that atheists prove ourselves to them that Gawd does not exist, rather than asking the theists to prove their case. It’s ridiculous! How in the Hells do you expect me to conjure out something out of nothing? Who am I now, David Copperfield? While we are at it, why don’t I also disprove the existence of myself (okay, we are back to that thrice-damned brain-in-the-thrice-damned jar argument again – Did I mention that agnostics tend to be intellectuals?) or prove that George W. Bush has an IQ of 200?
During our dinner at GL, XH made an astute observation: If one fine day we end up being prosecuted for being Atheists, we can safely bet that nobody will intervene on our behalf. Sad, but true. A Christian who sacrifices himself (let’s exclude terrorist acts in the name of religion here) is a martyr. The Christian community show their support openly. Fellow Christians will remember him with fondness and speak well of him. I wonder what will happen when Atheists are being persecuted and some atheist opens his mouth to protest. What will become of him then? “Oh it’s just another Dr. Chee, ignore the idiot lah. He’s just being stupid…” So my fellow infidels, atheists, agnostics, freethinkers, telly-tubby New-Agers or whatever you choose to call yourselves, it is you who are stupid. Not the Christians. Not the Muslims. Not the Hindus. Not the Taoists. Not the Buddhists. Not even the Teapot worshipers in Malaysia. There, I said it. I just spat on my own kind. Sorry, I mean ilk. So bite me.
Atheists and the other non-religious are even more myopic than the theists. The theists cannot see well, but at least they guide one another along. So many of us could not look beyond our oh-so sophisticated arguments to see that humans are never totally logical. We are more emotional and illogical than we would care to admit.
We don’t care for someone just because we agree with her intellectual arguments. We care because we like her. A couple don’t get married because they can connect purely on an intellectual level. Lust, love, affection, infatuation and other needs bring them together. Humans will always fight the hardest for people and causes they are most emotionally involved with. All ideologies and principles merely strengthen the emotional component and are not separate entities by themselves.
I will use a crass example here. What does a desperate, unwanted bloke really want? The best arguments that there is no kind and loving deity, and that he is on his own, or the feeling of being loved? I dare say many blokes become church-goers because for once in their miserable existence they feel wanted. Nobody wants to be lonely, as that Christina Aguilera feat. Ricky Martin song goes. What can you get for being just an atheist, the sole ubermensch amongst the apes? Destroying Christians in debates? Spending hours writing about how stupid religion is? Going to fellow Atheist blogs/sites and complimenting the writer in the secret hope that they will reciprocate and praise your ‘fantastic’ writing? While the desperate male I quoted is undoubtedly a pathetic specimen, but aren’t some Atheists as well? Both may be onanistic in nature, but at least the former actually knows he wants some girl to satisfy his needs.
As an infidel even I know that organized religion trumps organized Atheism (if there’s truly such a thing) any day. One cannot never underestimate the sense of communal kinship, the sense of love, care and justice, and the seemingly unadulterated affection members display that are found in religion. The shared values and common goal for its adherents. The collectivistic drive and focus. You know you have seem the best of slave management when the slaves actually enjoy it and defend their institutions with such fervor. Atheism only offers round after round of repeated philosophical discussions, barren intellectualism, zero goals, zero definition, zero this and then. It is purely NATO (No Action Talk Only) and in the end, when we are fucked we have only ourselves to blame. And we are so apathetic we won’t even bother!
Talking to some Atheists about the power of emotions versus intellectualism is a gut-wrenching exercise. No matter what I say I am always wrong. It is not Atheism’s fault, but my own. I am a loser and my failings does not reflect on secularism. It’s touché, touché and more touchés without reply. It’s like hitting a brick wall with a fencing foil. In the first place, why bother?
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Everton were held 3: 3 at Villa after leading twice by two goals. It had been a glorious opportunity to leapfrog Villa into fifth place but it was not to be. The high-scoring thriller was pleasing on the eye but stressing on the heart. We don’t usually concede three goals but on Sunday we switched off and paid the price. The ManUre stand between us and our first appearance in an FA Cup Final since 1996. The lads better tighten up at the back.
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I just found that my answer to Question 5 of my Managerial Accounting assignment was replaced by some Nobel Prize award winning material (Singapore Category). At 4am Monday morning, O made a miraculous recovery from his illness and the effect was for all to see. After reading it I immediately felt I was put in my place. Right now I feel suicidal and the compulsion to quit my Business degree course grows even stronger.
I didn’t even receive an sms informing me of the amendment. And who checks his email at four in the morning?! If I had known this would happen I would not have wasted an hour of my precious time doing the damn question! It’s not like I am pissed off because my hard work got rejected. If O’s rubbish were better than mine, I would have gladly taken his answer. But when it’s the opposite way round it just makes me feel like I am fucked for no good reason.
I wish I could put it up for your amusement but the plagiarism program the University uses will pick it up. I have enough on my plate already. I see no point in inflicting more pain on myself. There is only so much a man can take.
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