Nil Satis Nisi Optimum My Ass!

I sent this to Bluekipper. I don't think they will put it up though. To the Hells with them. The site is shite anyway.


Nil Satis Nisi Optimum? What delusional rubbish!

No player wants to sign for us. We have no money to spend anyway. We have to sell players before we can buy any. Over a century of history, and we are the undisputed paupers in the League. Maybe we should play a division lower. At least we get a real shot at winning something. Well, maybe not.

We are like the plague. Nobody with any money to invest would come near us. At least the Barcode Army had Mike 'Ratface' Ashley. We are nobody’s child, If Bill Kenwright and his board of functional retards have any self-respect, they should just sell the club to anyone with money. South American drug cartels, the Russian mafia, the Taliban, Singtel, I don’t give a damn. Just give us money. Money, money and more money.

Our chairman is skint, our board incompetent and from the business point of view, we could not sell an iced-tea in a desert. The club is so pathetic it is reduced to begging the Shite for ground-sharing. Would you share your wife with another man?

The city council are cretins, Shite supporters or both. They would never approve whatever building plans we come up with, even though it means losing the chance to create 1,000,0000,000 jobs. We could not get Stanley Park, Kirby is in tatters and before long they will throw us out of Goodison Park.

We could not hit a barn door from five yards and we never look like scoring in a whorehouse. Our most creative player is out for possibly the whole of this season, and our most solid centreback badly missed. Every cross into our penalty box is likely to result in a goal. For some reason our well-paid players either do not want to pass the ball, or cannot string together a few passes to save their own lives.

Our manager is too defensive at times, even against mediocre sides we want to defend, defend , defend and then hope to nick one from a mistake or set piece and then defend, defend, and defend until the end. Against passing sides we lose our balls in more ways than one. How many points have we taken off the ManUre, Chelski and the Arse in recent years? We are always moaning about how classy the rest are and that we are not ‘good enough’ or ‘lack cutting edge’. You do not hear Fulham moaning about how good Roma are. You certainly do not see SUNDERLAND going tortoise when they played the Shite, ManUre and the Arse!

It is long ball after long ball after long ball – whom are we trying to attract, American football investors? I know our goalkeeper is American, but this is freaking ridiculous!

Stop giving excuses that we have a long injury list. The Arse had an injury list but still played Standard Liege off the park. Our fit players are good enough to at least give a decent accounting of themselves but the only accounting consists of spiritless displays, dropped points, and prematch hot air.

Our stadium is just as charming as a piss pot. Its architecture is depressing, and the view is terrible. It is an eyesore; the sight of it is liable to give the elderly cataracts.

Our luck is wretched beyond description. Against the Shite, for once we started playing like a team. We dominated them, we scared the bejesus out of these whoresons, but they came away with three points. If the Shite were bad, we were worse. It was not the Merseyside derby last night, but the Miseryside farce. They may have been out of the Champions League, but at the rate we are going, we will be out of the Premiership before long. Misery loves company, and in the end we will be left to walk alone.

In the best interest of human dignity they should build a railway track across Liverpool for disgruntled Everton fans to end their despondency. I rue the day I became a Blue. Fourteen years of heartache, not a trophy in sight, shite football season after season, and a board that is so bloody useless. In the words of the immortal Didier Drogba, 'It’s a fucking disgrace!'