More Writhing

I am following the Blues’ fortunes (or should I say, misfortunes) on Twitter. Lescott has verbally requested a transfer to the Shitteeh. The gaffer should extort the Middle-east bastards for 30 to 40 million. With that kind of money we should be able to get a couple of creative players to complement our hardworking ethos.

With Jo damaging his ankle and Fellaini struggling for full fitness after a virus, the Blues are left dangerously thin. Peanuts won’t sign a new contract. Arteta, Yakubu and Jags are out with injuries. This is easily half the first time squad unavailable for the opening day clash with the Arse.

Senderos may become an Everton player soon. Cry me a river.


Coropo left for the States this morning. I have only this to say. The States being the land of opportunities, I have no doubt whatsoever that he will find it easier to score there, despite the fact that US women are better looking than the vermin we have here. As a guy, I wish him all the best, and hope that if he is ever unable to “rise to the occasion”, he should tell the girl that he is from Vietnam or some similar shithole. We are pathetic enough as it is. Please refrain from doing further advertising. Horseface Sun is quite enough.

Thank you.


According to a recent survey, the Chinese trust whores more than they do politicians. I am not surprised at all. They both screw you, but at least the whore gives you a good time.

The most “trustworthy” groups include religious workers, farmers, whores and farmers. The scum include politicians, teachers, real estate businessmen and scientists.

No wonder our regime cracks down on the flesh trade. Obviously they fear people of integrity, having none themselves.


P asked me to lend him $500, promising to return it to me this Friday. He said that C wanted to approach their major about his money woes. Unfortunately he is overseas so no help there.

His SMSes stopped after I suggested that he borrow money from his church mates. He has the nerve to ask money from a friend who is skint, but shies from asking his fellow xtians for help. I don’t understand this. Maybe it’s because we non-xtians are going to burn in Hell after we die, so even if he doesn’t return us money in this life he can also escape this obligation in the afterlife.


I have been drinking Coke everyday for the past month or so. I wonder if it’s possible to die from caffeine overdose. I could just see the headlines in the Shite Times: MAN DIES FROM DRINKING COKE. HEALTH MINISTER DECLARES BAN ON COCA COLA. Something to boast about to the folks in Hades (yeah I know there’s no Hell).

Still, I shall continue to drink Coke. Life is too short to go un-caffeinated.


Recently I keep getting reminded of Freddy Shepherd, who was the chairman for the Barcode Army. He once complained in a Spanish brothel that Geordie women were as ugly as dogs.

Dear Freddy, come to my country. I’ll show you what a dog looks like.