Sunday Nature

The Lass, Pearl and I spent Sunday afternoon together. After having lunch at Newton hawker centre, we got on the bus to the Bukit Timah nature reserve. The street directory Pearl brought wasn’t detailed enough for us to find the entrance to the reserve so we just took pot luck and alighted somewhere nearby.

Initially we couldn’t locate the entrance. The three of us walked along the pavement besides the undergrowth. It seemed to stretch on forever, and we thought we would not be able to find a way in. Meanwhile we kept our eyes open and admired the plants nearby.

Espying a break in the undergrowth, I told my friends to wait while I explored. I had a feeling it would lead into the Bukit Timah reserve and my haunch was right. It was quite a challenging climb. Before I could yell at my friends, the Lass and Pearl already started up the path. I helped them, pulled them up the treacherous path.

Where we came up. Tricky route to navigate.

The bridge stands sentinel over the track.

Beautiful.

A spectacular sight greeted us. We stood on a hill overlooking a railway track. To our right was a bridge, and at our backs the high-rise flats across the road loomed like titans. A log lay several yards away. Beyond the bridge we could see the forest and the hill. Nature and the edifices of men stood side by side, conveying a sense of contrast and majesty. We snapped shots of ourselves, the scenery and any other thing that seized our fancy.

Soul Sisters.

White and black, beauty and the beast

Crossing the bridge, the three of us reached a road. As we walked Pearl told us of the natural environments of the countries she had been to. The Lass said she liked the old Celtic world, the rich fantasy realm of dragons and faeries, knights and magicians. Quite the romantic.

The road leads to the Hill.

Eventually we reached our destination. The Bukit Timah hill appeared before our eyes. Its towered over us, its slopes chiseled, and their faces the colour of apricot. Greenery stuck to the surface like algae. Below the hill, a shallow lake sat torpid. As we drew nearer we saw that a fence blocked our progress to the lake. Two men fished – I didn’t know how they got in – and looked at us with some amusement. One stared at the Lass with interest.

What's the damn fence for?

We should have been up there.

To our left a flight of steps led down and we followed it, thinking it would lead us somewhere interesting. It did, in a way. We didn’t realize it was a big drain until we had gone ten yards into it. It reminded me of a real-life Dungeons and Dragons game. True, there were no goblins to kill and dragons to subdue (the only monsters were probably tiny spiders and other critters which wisely remained out of sight from the stomping and marauding giant and giantesses.) I nearly stepped on a trap: a pile of shit and a few pieces of soiled toilet paper. The Lass squealed, but avoided the trap without incident. Intrepid adventurers we were, we pressed onward. The remnants of dead branches and wisps of spider webs became our kills, as we moved quickly down the gloomy and musty passageway.

The Dungeon (sorry, can't get it to rotate clockwise)

The open drain soon became a tunnel. The three of us stopped at its mouth and looked uncertainly into it. We would have to bend ourselves if we were to continue, and we were not sure where it would lead us. I volunteered to play scout. Taking hold of the railing at the side of the drain, I climbed out of the drain. I saw that a declining foot path intersected the top surface of the tunnel. Cresting the rise of the path I saw that it led out of the forest. I tried to follow the tunnel from atop but the thick undergrowth impeded me from determining where it ended.

I climbed down and told my fellow adventurers we had to climb out. They were surprised but soon snapped out of their shock and passed me their bags. I had thought to pull them up but Pearl said it would be easier if I climbed down and help.

So I did. The wall was about my companions’ height. The Lass looked at it and squealed some more. The girls ascended the steps in the drain’s passageway, hoping to find a part where the wall was shorter but the sides of the drain were uniform in height. I suggested going back the way we came but we dismissed the notion. We would emerge from the depths or die trying.

Pearl scaled the wall with little fuss. Her yoga training came in useful. The Lass tried climbing up but failed. She said her hands were too weak. We shouted encouragement to her and she tried again. It didn’t work. At our urging, she stuck the toe of her shoe into the water hole to get some purchase but her shoe was not sleek enough. I looked around for anything that might help. Something to step on perhaps. There was none. I had my hands around her waist and pushed the Lass up as she gripped the wall and climbed. Pearl tried to pull her up. The situation was desperate as it was hilarious. We three were giggling – the Lass the most - as we attempted to figure out an evacuation plan.

So I bent my knees and asked the Lass to use my thigh as a step-up. She thought she would break my leg because she was heavy. Only after I reassured her that my legs are strong from football and martial arts practice did she try – and failed. Obviously my thigh was too slim. Then I thought it would be easier if I bent down and shove while Pearl helped her peddle up. Trying to lift something up from a squatting position was just daft. It didn’t work.

I decided that desperate situations call for desperate measures. I went on all fours and asked the Lass to step on my back. She went wide-eyed and screamed that she would break my back and kill me. I was confident it would work and it did! The Lass was as light as a little faerie and with Pearl’s help she made it out. What a momentous day! She should tell her Sha Monkeys of her achievement. Surely this is Lara Croft in the making!

After that we came to a very big pipe, or rather a section of it. One of my friends said it looked like a bomb shelter but we agreed that it would be useless in a bomb raid. The Lass commented it looked like a theatre; the acoustics and all that stuff. In response, I sang falsetto and ended up coughing. I have no talent in the arts.

As we made our way out of the forest we found ourselves before some private properties. The rich people residing in the houses must hate the mosquitoes. The three of us continued to walk and reached the railway tracks. Pearl was right. There was no train running on Sundays and we enjoyed the quiet and safety of the unused tracks to take photos. We had a hell of a time balancing on the side rails, and of course, more photo-taking. In the distance the bridge where we were earlier seemed to wave at us. Bye bye bridge. We followed the road out.



By this time we were utterly dehydrated from our exertions. The sun beat down on us relentlessly and it was fortunate there were a row of shops in the vicinity. We found ourselves a small restaurant and settled ourselves in its cozy and delightfully chilly environs. I found myself trying to determine the size of each drink as I scanned through each offering on the menu. The girls deliberated over their choice of desserts. Women! I don’t understand them. They go crazy over shoes, clothing, make-up and chocolate. Still they are cute in a way because of this – excluding of course, the time when they go overboard and make their guy’s bank account collapse like Wall Street. (That is a story for another day and I’m rambling again.)

Thankfully we survived long enough for our refreshments to arrive. Pearl ordered chocolate ice cream while the Lass got herself some food. I finished my drink all too quickly (that was how thirsty I was). Not satisfied with the amount of food, we ordered a second round. The Lass was absolutely lucky when it came to ordering food. She got such a large plate of goodies that Pearl and I had to – it was a pleasure – help her finish. Pearl had earl grey tea. I had never heard of this tea before and I sniffed at it in the way a curious animal would at anything that catches its attention. I don’t know why it’s called earl grey. It didn’t look grey and it didn’t have a strong aroma. Pearl, who is well-traveled, told us about the size of the meals they serve in the US and the charming teas the Brits make for breakfast. My mouth watered as I listened to her narration. Two things: I want to go abroad even more; Pearl should be a travel writer. The Lass will make a good Lara Croft and Pearl the female version of Marco Polo.

Chocolate. Now you see it, now you don't.

The television screen in the restaurant flashed fashion shows. I glanced at the TV from time to time at the bevy of beauties – the two girls must think I am an animal. Hey, all guys are shallow! We talked about TV shows and I discovered one thing. Pearl and the Lass go for quality in the drama shows. I judge quality by the number of babes in the show. I reiterate my point: all guys are Shallow Hals, and I daresay more than a few are proud of it!

Stunning. Absolutely spectacular.

It was a pity the other atheists couldn’t join us. Since the intellectuals like to talk about evolution and all that multi-level selection stuff, they would have gained a deeper appreciation had they joined us. Sitting down in a café and speak of evolution and how animals evolve and adapt is akin to a general discussing military tactics based on what is written on a piece of paper. Rhetorical and nothing to the point. There are more things in Nature (I’m bastardizing Shakespeare’s famous quote) than they are in your philosophies. Rather sea turtles than Socrates, rather the canopy of the a tropical rain forest, than your solipsistic postmodernism, philosophical pluralism and whatever. The wild pig charging at me has greater bearing than your frivolous and pretentiously constructed postulations. The – you get my point.

Such majesty...

In the words of the great Terminator: “I’ll (We’ll) be back.” For me, three locations summed up our trip: the railway, the ditch, and the restaurant. We set off for Nature, but we found man-made structures. Ironic, but true.

The Lass did my nails on the bus. My first manicure! I’m so excited I just can’t hide it I’m so excited….

Left Hand

Right Hand

To HELL with Valentine's Day!

Valentine’s Day is sweet for some, depressing for others. Me? All I got was a dead body.

My bus was moving towards Jurong when I noticed a big crowd by the side of the road. The crowd comprised mostly of Indians and Bangladesh. The bus then shifted to the right lane and as it moved forward I saw a policeman and his bike. The guy sitting in front of my suddenly became excited, stood and pasted his face against the window. Restless energy filled the air. I wondered what could have elicited such excitement. Then I saw it.

A corpse lay in the middle of the road, face up, and arms sprayed to the sides. A large pool of blood had spread from his back. Its thickness glimmered like a mirror, and in the darkness, it looked black and accusatory.

When I turned back, the excited guy was gone. He had probably alighted for a closer look. While he was at it he might as well get at the flesh before the other vultures moved in. Not much meat to go around by the looks of it.

I felt a bit…I don’t know how to put it. I was neither sad nor frightened. I thought of the dead guy’s family and how sad they would be. I supposed I should feel sorry, but I was not. I imagined myself standing next to the corpse. It was grisly of course, but no worse than the dead body of a suicide I saw when I was a kid. She (or he) leaped from maybe sixteen floors and landed ten metres away from the block. The corpse was a mess , but there wasn’t much blood. Death was instantaneous. As I looked down from the third floor I could not help but feel fascinated. So were the boys next door. Our parents talked to each other, their tone gossipy.

I wonder how the cheap laborer died. Apart from that solitary pool underneath his body, I didn’t see blood anywhere else. There was no car parked at the scene so it was unlikely a traffic accident. Murder? Probably a stab in the back. What did the man think about as he lay helpless on the road, too weak to even breathe and his life blood seeping away? Pain. His loved ones. Did his life flash in front of him? Nobody helped him – perhaps they were too late. Did anyone see him die? Did anyone see how he died but walked away, thinking it was none of their business?

I HATE VALENTINE”S DAY.

Brain Sex

Thanks to the Lass for this little distraction.

The link to the little fun site is http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/add_user.shtml

For your amusement:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

The scale below is an indication of where you fall in the male-female brain continuum. The results are based on the angles, spot the difference, 3D shapes and words tasks. Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence.

Your personal brain score: Average score for MEN who've taken this survey: Average score for WOMEN who've taken this survey:

If you are using a public PC we strongly advise you to print out and delete your results if you do not want anyone to see them.

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	Part 1

	Angles
	This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space. Your score: 15 out of 20 Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20 Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women. If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability. If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men. Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest. Do our cave dwelling ancestors offer us any clues about why men and women score differently on this task? Find out more.
	Spot the difference
	This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects. Your score: 50% Average score for men: 39% Average score for women: 46% What does your score suggest? If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory. If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain. If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another. Find out more about our spatial abilities.

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	Part 2

Hands

You said your right thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together. Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical. Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes. However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous. Find out why right-brained people may be better fighters and artists.

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	Part 3

Emotions and Systems

This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise. Empathising Your empathy score is: 4 out of 20 Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20 Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20 What does your result suggest? Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising. Systemising Your systemising score is: 4 out of 20 Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20 Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20 What does your result suggest? Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising. Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic? Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Find out more.

Eyes

This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions. Your score: 7 out of 10 Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10 Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally. If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions. If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category. Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test. Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. Find out more.

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	Part 4

Fingers

We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to: Right Hand: 0.98 Left Hand: 1.01 Average ratio for men: 0.982 Average ratio for women: 0.991 It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same. Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length. Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us.

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	Part 5

Faces

This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity. Your choices suggest you prefer more feminine faces. Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones. Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely. A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face. Are you surprised at what researchers think they can learn from your answers? Find out more.

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	Part 6

3D shapes

This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes. Your score: 10 out of 12 Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12 Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range. If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men. If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain. Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Find out why.

Words

This task looked at your verbal fluency. Your score: you associated 8 word(s) with grey and you named 6 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct. Average score for men: 11.4 words total Average score for women: 12.4 words total What does your result suggest? If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words. If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain. Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Find out more .

Ultimatum

This task asked you how you would divide money. If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25 So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average. What does your response suggest? Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male. Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising. Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power. Find out more about the role of testosterone.

Academia Blues

I finally formed my project groups. I am delighted. This half of the season is quite special. I am the only guy in both my groups. This motivates me greatly. My male ego will drive me to perform. I hate producing mediocre work in front of women. On first impression my group mates seemed quite fine. In fact I hit off quite well with two of them. Nothing suggested that they would be anything like the Mutt that put me through so much pain last season. The last time I worked in an all-female group was for Stats – we got the highest in our class. I hope this time things will be no different. I was motivated then and my motivation wanes not. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum!

Shortly after I woke up, I endured more than three hours on the Financial Accounting MCQ. I was a bit unlucky with the draw (most of the questions were on calculation), but in the end I secured the result I desired. I still have a quiz on Business Law to settle. I anticipate a few torrid hours of wordplay. You know what they say about lawyers…


I am still ecstatic over Everton’s defeat of Liverpool. The Blues play Aston Villa in the next tie. Some people in the FA must hate Everton to the core. We played the “Big Four” sides for five matches straight. We got Arsenal and Man U in the league, three derbies and now we have to play Villa, who are in a rich vein of form themselves. Injuries are piling up. Fellaini and Peanuts are crocked. Anichebe went crazy at David Moyes and the only “top” class striker we have is loan signing Jo. I hope Moyes play Gosling. The youngster deserves a chance in the starting line up after his FA Cup heroics against that Shite from across the street.

Everton’s tough draw reminds me of the European campaigns we had. A few seasons back we kicked the Shite off fourth spot and whom did we get in our Champions League qualifier? Villarreal. Playing the very technical and tactical Yellow Submarine was bad enough, to do so with over half the first team on the treatment table was insane. They led 2:1 from the Goodison leg. In Spain, Arteta’s brilliant free kick gave us hope. Big Duncan scored from a corner, but that overrated bastard of a so-called referee Pierliugi Collina inexplicably ruled out Big Dunc’s perfectly legitimate goal. Had that stood it would have leveled the tie. With the boys pushing forward in the dying minutes in search of an equalizer, they scored and that was it.

After Everton finished fifth last season, we expected a decent UEFA (or Europa) Cup run. Again, some whoreson in UEFA didn’t like us and we drew against Standard Liege. It made me sick to the stomach. The other teams like Spurs and Pompey did just enough to secure a European spot and they got drawn with teams nobody had even heard of. We did ourselves proud in the league and our reward was the damn Belgian champions. We lost this one again.

I hope we qualify for Europe this season. The team are playing the best football I have seen in a long time and it will be a shame if they don’t make it to Europe. And this time I really hope the thrice-damned cur-humping bastards at UEFA don’t screw us up again.

Off with the Shite!

I am going to gloat.

Everton kicked Liverpool out of the FA Cup with a deflected strike by teenager Dan Gosling in extra time. Since losing in the derby earlier this season, Everton have gotten the measure of their vastly richer neighbors.

Indeed, there was a sense of nostalgia in this fairy-tale ending. Everton were expected to roll over and surrender. A gap of fourteen points in the league separates the two sides. This gulf seems more prominent when you consider the overall value of the Everton squad is only a small fraction of what their neighbors cost. With their first choice strike force decimated by injuries, Everton have been forced to play attacking midfielder Tim Cahill upfront and out of position for the entire month. Despite the difficulties, Everton’s narrow defeat at Old Trafford on Sunday was only their first of the year, rounding off a month which have seen them drew with Chelsea and Arsenal, twice with Liverpool and beaten Hull City and Macclesfield.

Everton’s stifling tactics denied the Shite their usual procession game. Like the previous two derbies, Everton fought a war of attrition, frustrating the Shite at every turn and threatening on counter attacks and set pieces. The strategy was simple and predictable, but Shite manager Rafael Benitez had no answer to it.

The physical contest brought back memories of the old-fashioned English game. The blood and thunder displays, the diehard commitment and the fiery passion on the pitch were absorbing in the way a slogging match is. Six cautions, one red card and two injuries epitomized the intensity of this brutal encounter. The Blues finally had the Reds on the tight rope after Lucas was sent off fourteen minutes from time. Up popped youngster Dan Gosling at the far post, the chance set up by perpetual benchwarmer Andy Van der Meyde and Goodison Park saw one of the greatest nights in their club’s history.

For all their lauded abilities and Champions League pedigree, title contenders Liverpool failed when it mattered. The magic of the FA Cup remains, and remains a beautiful sight. David versus Goliath. A team which fielded over half of its playing strength in Englishmen, youngsters and bit-part players showed a team consisting of expensive and experienced foreign mercenaries what the English game is all about. The paupers versus the wealthy. Sheer desire over technique. A paper-thin squad versus a squad with depth. And in the end, a young player won it for his side. The giant-killing, so sweet and intoxicating, you won’t find it anywhere else other than the FA Cup. You won’t find it any better than the Blues in jubilation, and the Reds, dejected and their tails between their legs, limping off the pitch.

FUCK OFF LIVERPOOL!

Strange People and Rare Praise

A friend messaged me:


Received: 05:31:52pm 29-01-2009

Bro. Convenient to lend me 500bucks?if you lend me right I can only pay you back end feb. Not convenient Nevermind..No worries


Received: 06:31:47pm 30-01-2009

Want to eat my shit?


I have strange friends. (No. I didn’t bother to reply and give him a handout.)


I was in a black mood just now. I got a question wrong for one of my online quizzes in my Financial Accounting. There goes my 100% record. I’m fed up. Fucking fed up.

Checking the Discussion Board improved my mood. To date sixteen persons (including myself) have logged on to post their comments on business ethics. I am still the devil’s advocate. I replied to two of my classmates and the writing process calmed me down somewhat. The discussion topic will close on the 5th or 6th, and out of a class of over forty only sixteen have deigned to reply. Maybe the rest are not impressed that the Discussion Forum is only worth 5% of the overall marks. To each his own then.

For once the University has got things right. The Discussion Forum is great for engaging people and promoting critical thinking and discussion. It’s a pity that only Financial Accounting (to the best of my knowledge) has a system which allocates marks to participation. Unfortunately, there will be people who will snub the forum because they either do not deem the 5% worthy of their time and effort, or they believe that in the end, everybody will get full marks as the forum is just “for show”. I find it absolutely useful and I applaud the course chair who designed this module. I have been very critical of the school but I have to give credit where it’s due. However, I feel that it will be more useful if the 5% marks allocated to online participation is increased to 10% or 15%. People have to understand that critical thinking is an important aspect of education and the increased allocation will reinforce the view.

I still got to work on my Accounting. More headache.