Why Marry?!

A friend chatted with us on WhatsApp. He complained that people are not turning up at his wedding ‘at the last minute’, which resulted in his losing revenue from the hongbao money. It has been very difficult for him. As if the preparations aren’t bad enough, he has to fork out most of the banquet costs. His wife-to-be is pretty skint; she is short of more than 20 grand and my friend is expected to shoulder the burden resulting from her non-contribution. He still has to pay over 30 grand on his renovation and a further 3 grand on their honeymoon, plus other charges that amount to over 10 grand.

There is a moral lesson to be learnt here. I have always believed that we should seek to learn from people’s mistakes because we will never live long enough to make enough of them to learn from. So here is why my friend’s trials and tribulations can serve as a warning to all would-be-bridegrooms.

First of all, marriage is a monstrous institution that deprives a man of his rights and burdens him with all kinds of responsibility. By getting hitched, a man loses much of his freedom. He no longer can go out with his mates for a drink or a whoring session as much as he wants. Instead, he has to tend to his wife and keep her entertained and happy. If the couple has children, the man is expected to be the major contributor to the household income. If he divorces her, he has to fork out alimony every month.

Second, in this time and age, setting up a Chinese banquet to commemorate the awarding of legal rights to two individuals of the same specie to screw each other for the purposes of pleasure and procreation is irrational. A Chinese wedding can easily cost over 10 grand. The ballroom and the overpriced slop already amount to close to 10 grand, and each table (assuming 10 seats) can cost $1,000 to $1,500. We have not even covered the cost of the photographer and his studio, the wedding costumes, car rental, and other hidden costs. Instead of coughing up 30, 40 grand for an undignified slop feast that lasts only a few hours, why not ditch this ridiculous spectacle and save the money for more useful things like renovation and the purchasing of furniture and fittings?

Third, marriage is between two consenting individuals. I understand that they may want to share their joy with their close friends and families, but is there absolutely a need to invite associates, colleagues, and some relatives whom you have never seen in 1,000 years, only to have some of these buggers ‘not turning up at the last minute’ and costing you expensive seats? Why not just have a simple wedding reception and be done with it?! It is just a mating ritual damn it, and in most cases, the mating would have had been done before the actual official event!

For the abovementioned reasons, I would not willingly enter into such an unfair contract. The best thing for any society is to demolish this stupid legislation and its horrible contractual obligations. Humans are animals and are happiest when unconstrained by such artificial and suffocating constructs.