Why Tae Kwon Do Sucks: High Kicks are Great for Cheerleaders and Hollywood

As the provocative title suggests, I am not exactly enamored of the Korean martial art. Technically it is spectacular to watch; tactically it is rather daft. As my friends who practiced it said proudly, Tae Kwon Do (TKD), or 'leg art', has the widest repertoire of kicks among all the martial arts. They further went on to claim that kicks are always better than punches because they are at least thrice as strong. Therefore, TKD is an excellent martial art.

However, whenever I watch TKD tournaments, I am compelled to dismiss the martial art as a reflection of the manufactured Korean 'culture' which is ubiquitous to the point of being obscene and a global nuisance. Like K-pop, K-movies and dramas, and kimchi, it lacks substance. The typical TKD tournament involves two 'exponents' donned in unwieldy protective gear - they look like some hideous parody of Teletubbies - kicking the bejesus out of each other and screaming at the top of their voices like pigs being led to the abattoir.

To make this freak show even funnier, TKD rules state that you may not (i) kick under the belt; (ii) punch the face; and (iii) employ take-downs; and (iv) joint locks. I can understand the prohibition on joint locks as joint manipulation is potentially more deadly than strikes as they can easily maim permanently or kill, but to reinforce rules (i) to (iii) as well really defeats the purpose of the martial arts. As any street fighter will tell you, punches go straight to the face, and kicks to the stomach or legs. Granted, we are talking about a tournament fight here and certain rules do apply. Unfortunately, too many TKD people do train for tournaments, not for real fights.

You can say the same for most people who practise martial arts these days for health benefits and not because they want to survive a fight. But the syllabus and tactical mindset of TKD means that it is a different beast altogether. Unlike most other martial arts. TKD focuses too much on kicking and too little on using the hands. Its greatest selling point is ironically its weakness. You can easily halve a pure TKD fighter's effectiveness by just giving his shin a good whack. You don't even need to cripple his leg. One nice bruise and he will be struggling to even move, let alone execute his fantastic kicks! Contrast him to the Western boxer, who can take a tremendous amount on his forearm and still function. Even if the TKD guy wises up and stops kicking like a cheerleader on steroids and uses his hands, he is still likely to have his arse handed over to him. Most TKD fighters have 'no hands'.

Rant over.

Now, here's a Top 10 list on why TKD is so daft. Number 11 is a bonus.


Waste of energy
High kicks deplete energy rapidly. You can try it out yourself. Without stopping, throw 50 high kicks to head level and then kick 100 times to shin level. You will find that it is still more comfortable executing the latter, even though you have to kick twice as many.

Requires specialized training
Anybody can easily kick a can or ball lying around on the street, but it takes training to execute a high kick, especially for non front kicks. Think of all the leg stretches you have to do to get you to the flexibility required.

Not practical in daily life
You can kick low and hard in street clothes, but certain types of clothing make it impossible for you to execute a kick to the face.

Hard to time
You need perfect timing to be able to slam a roundhouse kick into a moving target’s face, but as every footballer knows, it’s not that difficult to kick someone in his ankle.

Defensively inferior
A high kick that misses can be easily grabbed, resulting in the kicker being taken to ground. Even if the kicker is able to avoid having his leg grabbed, he has to shuffle his feet very fast to avoid a counter-attack. It is difficult to dodge when one of your legs is high up in the air and you are struggling for balance. On the other hand, it is highly unlikely that a missed low kick can be grabbed. The defensive stance is not compromised as much and the kicker can easily move quickly to follow up or evade.

Difficult to generate force
Unless you are executing a running jumping kick, it is impossible to throw your full weight into the kick. Moreover, you will only be wasting energy in maintaining your balance – energy that could have been used to deliver a more powerful kick. It is always easier to get your body weight behind a strike when you don’t have to stretch to hit the target.

Offensively inferior
The punch reaches the face faster than a kick. A kick reaches the legs faster than a punch. So why do people insist on kicking people’s face in when a punch is more convenient? You don’t see people deliberately punching below the belt, so why is there a fixation on kicking above the belt, and in some cases, above the shoulders? As the eyes are set just below the top of the head, it is definitely easier to see a high kick coming in than to spot a low kick below eye level.

Terrain-reliant
Try executing a high roundhouse kick when you are standing on an uneven or slippery surface. It does not take incredible balance to simply thrust out a toe-poke in most terrains.

Mostly unnecessary
You don’t need to kick people in the head to KO them. As we have seen countless times in Western boxing, a solid punch that connects with a boxer’s jaw can just as easily knock him out. A crunching tackle on someone’s knee can leave him paralyzed, in great agony and out of the fight. Just ask Eduardo.

Not versatile
A high kick can only be used to strike but a low kick can be used to strike, trap, trip, or hook.


Bonus: Needs plenty of space
If a robber ever accosts you in a lift, you can forget about kicking high.