Philosophical Observations

Allow me to expound the undefiled wisdom of philistines. Take heed and learn.

Section A: One Night in GL

My friend and I were treated to the astonishing sight of a ‘relations manager’ (pimp) haranguing a family. I don’t understand Hokkien but according to my friend’s translation, the relations manager was livid over some photographs the family took and their daft comments about the sleaze in the red-light district. So what did these idiots expect to see in a whore district?! If I were him, I would be pissed off too. When you make your living from a shadowy economy, you don’t really want some moralistic fool snapping photographs of your operations and then sending them to the authorities. Last year I gave XH a tour of the area. Despite my warnings, he was daft enough to openly take out his camera for a shot at the central business district there and immediately the relations manager glared at us and started to walk towards us. We had to keep the camera in a hurry. If the businessmen there were so protective of their district at a time when there was no merchandise on sale (the place was heavily raided by the fuzz at the time), imagine their feelings when they are actually running a business and some interloper threatens to curtail their operations. It was just as well for the stupid family that they were holed up in their car, and that there were some fuzz nearby. If they had enacted their stupidity in some other country they would probably have had their car windows smashed – or worse. Judging by the moralistic hypocrisy I dare say with a certain degree of confidence these twits are probably xtians.

While the manager was abusing the cretins in front of the Darlene Hotel, his business partner was complaining to a few uniformed fuzz behind the building. Unwilling to hang around in this volatile environment, the merchandise skunked off to a quieter place. There were uniformed fuzz around in the Holy Land that night. The World Cup screenings at the coffee shops had united diverse peoples effectively. You could see smelly blackamoors of various nationalities rubbing shoulders with locals and people from other Asian countries as they thronged in front of the TV screen. Violence is surely inevitable at some point. Losers will take out their frustrations the wrong way and the winners will relieve the tension with the strumpets. Allowing more prostitution in the area serves public interest, and the presence of the fuzz in various districts deters would-be aggressors.

Section B: Coffee near the CN Flat.

My friend observed that Shitholer females like to apply thick makeup to their faces before they even step out of the house. He asserted that they lack self-confidence, which is quite true, considering that many are quite fudgy. Citing from experience, he pointed out that many of the Chinese broads apply little or no makeup at all. “When your skin is creamy smooth, you don’t need to do yourself up like a ghost,” he argued. I totally agree with his assessment. When you apply a thick layer of some noxious chemical substance to your face, your face cannot breathe. Do it for five years straight and it’s inevitable that your skin will look old and wrinkled even before you turn thirty. Indeed, this is probably why cosmetics are always a good sell – to cover up the damage done by cosmetics!

We also lampooned the idiots who write for those blasted fashion magazines. Women who read their trashy columns will surely think that the ‘ideal woman’ is thin and non-curvaceous as a lamp post, and will seek to achieve this ridiculous image by’ starving’ themselves by eating only potato chips and paying a small fortune on some ‘beauty’ courses, losing two pounds in a week and then gaining it back by drinking water. Compared to their Shitholer counterparts, not many Chinese women go to such extreme means of beauty care, and they are on average, still aesthetically superior! It is time for our highly educated local women to put their educated brains to good use and improve their looks the right way.

Section C: Personal Reflections

After living for five years together, being man and wife in every aspect except for the solemnization of marriage, Bloke A finds solace in the ladies of the night who work the rounds in swill holes. He makes an important distinction in the company he keeps and pays for. Some ladies are for ‘boob squeezing’. For those who aren’t, they provide a listening ear for his troubles and worries. Despite his intercourses with these ladies, Bloke A claims he loves his wife, even though their attempts at procreation have always met with failure. I wonder what troubles are so special that he cannot confide in the one he professes to love. One suspects his troubles may run along the lines of ‘wife being a dead fish in bed’, and ‘…asking for more LV bags and cosmetics’. It’s funny how whores are trusted as much as bankers are. On second thoughts, it makes sense. Both screw you, but at least whores give you a good time while doing it.