My Thoughts

XH explained to me the exquisite concept of motorboating. It involves putting your face between a well-endowed hussy’s boobs, sticking your tongue out, and then whipping your head left and right in a vigorous and rapid motion. XH is a great teacher indeed. The Ministry of Education should re-employ him and give him a position in senior management.


The local tabloid ran a story on one of China’s “football babies”. The 27 year old Liu Wenwen idolizes Roberto “The Divine Ponytail” Baggio, complains about Chinese football “having form but no substance”, and most importantly, she is the perfect advertisement for The Beautiful Game. This is a conspiracy. Why can’t we have “football babies” like her? Hell, I don’t think we even have any! We may not get to see the World Cup. We have no football babies. What do we have?! Nothing! This is a shithole!


Most xtians are hypocrites, and this is exemplified by Police Car’s protestations after I wrote “Praise be GL” on his Facebook page. He said that I should be more discrete, as his friends are not fools. I quite disagree with him. The fact that you believe in a preposterous and poorly written horror story by some donkeys 2,000 years ago is already more than sufficient proof that there is something wrong with your head. I don’t think his friends are very smart. Anyway, GL can stand for “Good Lord”, or “Gawd Loves”. It does not have to mean Geylang (a red light district). Police Car freely engages the services of “women of virtue”, and at the same time, participates in church outings and writes some holy claptrap on his FB page to commemorate Easter Sunday. He should admit that he is a libertine and deconvert to atheism.


An ET lands on this planet.
The African goes on all fours and worships it.
The Arab decries it as an infidel and issues a fatwa against it.
The American tries to sell derivatives to it.
The Chinese, who is the smartest, thinks of ways to cook it.


While watching the football I found myself irritated by the idiotic commentary. Whiteys seem to have a problem with Asian names. Sometimes the commentator referred to Park Ji Sung as “Ji Sung Park; other times it was “Park Ji Sung”. To the best of my knowledge, no Asian I know has ever referred Wayne Rooney as “Rooney Wayne”. How could professional commentators get a simple thing like this wrong? Really, if you are going to fuck up your commentary, at least be consistent and fuck it up all the way. No wonder people working for the media are universally disliked.