Scoring for Fun and Being Unable to Score

After getting it on with a hairdresser the last time, Cashley Cole did it again with a topless model. I don’t now what they have been feeding them at Chelski but obviously people there are horny bastards there. First there was John Terry scoring with his teammate Wayne Bridge’s ride, and then now there’s Cole. While there wasn’t any actual physical contact, Cashley Cole would surely be penalized for exchanging sexy MMSes with the voluptuous hussy for over an hour. I can imagine Cheryl Cole retaliating at her husband’s latest indiscretion by getting it on with John Terry. A centreback scores with both his left-backs’ missus. Fancy.

By the way, here are a couple of John Terry jokes that have been making the rounds:

We all knew that John Terry liked scoring at the Bridge, but this is ridiculous!

England left-back Ashley Cole is pulled over for doing 150 mph. The officer asked him if he has any excuse. ‘Well,’ says Ashley Cole, ‘I just heard that John Terry’ car is OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!’


In other news, local female celebrities are choosing foreigners (Caucasians) as their partners because they find local blokes too inferior. According to them, we are ‘mama’s boys’ and therefore too soft for them. I don’t generally have a problem with people making their choices but to denigrate a bunch of sorry bastards who would waste/have wasted two years of their pathetic existence in the goddamn army so that these women can live in relative safety is really disgraceful. You see women going on about female emancipation and equal rights for themselves but conveniently neglecting the principle that equal rights also demand equal responsibilities. Our local women should volunteer to serve in the military for two years before they even deserve to bitch about how good they are. A man who puts as much as a hand on a woman’s shoulder can be charged for outrage of modesty but nobody bats an eyelid if the situation is reversed. of Its high time a woman pay for her date, pull a chair for him at the dining table, and open the door for him when they exit a room. Let us start this Valentine’s Day shall we?

My distaste for these overrated and yipping hyenas aside, I have to admit that they are at least partially right when they say that local men are inferior. It does not take perfect acuity to see that Caucasians tower over their local counterparts. My hardly impressive height of 5’ 11” makes me the tallest in my footy team. Every year when I take my physical fitness test, I see blokes in their 20s who cannot even do a simple chin-up to save their sorry lives. We are physically inferior, and given women’s preference for taller blokes – a woman likes to have a shoulder to lean on – it is apparent why we seem inferior. Our narrow shoulders only exacerbates our already sorry image. On the physical side, yes, they are quite correct in their assertions.

Many Caucasians live on their own. They come here to work and their employers provide them a place to stay. Many of these are in senior management and are paid a lot higher than the locals. Unless a local is really well off (most are not), a bachelor’s pad is quite unattainable. Unless you are married or are at least 35 years of age, you aren’t allowed to buy a flat. Of course, nobody can stop you from getting a condominium apartment but as I said, most don’t have the stash for it. As women tend to be money-faced, no prizes for guessing who they prefer. To spent a romantic weekend, just two persons snuggling in a spacious apartment overlooking some scenery, or in a government flat occupied by the guy’s family, accompanied by the noise of some inconsiderate prat playing the radio at full blast. Seriously, I cannot blame the woman. I would go for the expatriate too.

Caucasians are definitely more articulate than locals. Little wonder. They come from a culture where individualism is prized and standing out from the rest of the crowd is cool. We are bred in a shithole where if you so much as make a single note of dissonance you are criticized by moralistic milksops, or worse, clapped in irons. Under this kind of hostile environment, can you blame us if we are not as well-spoken and out-spoken than our blonde-haired mates? While we make the valid criticism than our local women are like dead logs in bed, we should also recognize our deficiency in the boudoir. Mechanical sex follows insipid foreplay; before we even get to that stage, courtship is unimaginative and often consists of shopping, movies, dinner and then more shopping. Most of us cannot write a love letter or some witticism without resorting to plagiarizing from the Internet, and orally speaking - no pun intended – we haven’t the head for it. I don’t know if the westerners deserve their reputation as hot lovers, but it does not take Casanova to beat the sorry lot that we are.

I recall an online conversation I had with an atheist friend not so long ago. He expressed his displeasure for ‘Angmohs’, or Caucasians, who come to this shithole and steal our jobs and sleep with our women. He clearly wanted them to get the Hells out. Asia has had suffered enough Western depredations and it is time we throw off our yokes. I disagreed with him and I told him why. I replied that we should stop looking down on ourselves and if our own women find expatriates more palatable, it is their right to do so. We have to admit that we are inferior in many ways. If the Caucasians who come here to take our jobs are really talented or fulfill a niche function, then let them come. If they are white trash, then I say we put out the trash. The same thing applies to other nationalities and/or skin colour as well. As it stands, we have too many foreigners in this shithole and many are not even talented/skilled to begin with. There was a report last year that over 15,000 local university graduates could not find work. Instead of solely putting the blame on our western expatriates, why don’t we blame our regime and their ridiculous open-door emigration polices? It is one thing to say on New Year’s Day that Shitholers are number one priority for the regime, it’s another to follow this up with some concrete action. Even assuming that Westerners are to be blamed, why shouldn’t this extend to Bangladesh, Indians, mainland Chinese and other nationalities as well? Just because they are lower on the economic scale does not exempt them from being faulted.

Obviously we did not quite see eye to eye. Before he went off he said that he would ask me for a drink sometime to discuss further. Well, it’s been a month already and I am still waiting. Atheists can really be a sorry bunch.