A Very Enkish Friday

I had half the Friday to myself and I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. I was so bored I spent the afternoon playing Mafia Wars and Fish Wrangler and surfing sites randomly. My Strategy assignment is not released to us yet so there is no way I can begin work on it. I called my friends and they too, had nothing to do. This shithole is suicide-inducing. Nothing ever happens, if you discount the shit our overpaid regime throws at us.

So bored was I that I even joined the Singapore Paranormal Investigators. They are organizing some ghost walk in Choa Chu Kang on Tuesday night. I am going to give it a miss. Seriously, being stuck on some isolated plot of land in the middle of the night is nothing to feel fearful about. The only things you ought to be concerned about are mosquitoes, muggers, and the occasional lost soldier.

Anyway, SPI’s webpage is nothing to shout about. It is not updated frequently and the forums are full of unintelligent comments which are grammatically hopeless, irrelevant, or both. I wish intelligent people like Genius would sign up. The problem with Shithole-based forums is that their participants are generally incapable of writing coherently. I don’t see why people have to use sms language or ‘friend-speak’ as if everybody in this pathetic world has their language standards and subscribes exclusively to their babbling lingo. The webmaster should have stated in the application that all rubbish would be removed from the forum. Unfortunately, like most Shitholers, the webmasters seem to value quantity over quality. This is a sad country.

The Brain showed me a forum and I was quite impressed with the comments in it. Genius’s rants on Shitholer females are spot on, and his insights on the sexual economics in this shithole are astounding. As usual, there are the female apologists defending their ilk and the occasion whitey giving his two cents’ worth. I was tempted to join in but this being a Shithole forum, I am not certain if there are any sore losers who will complain to the regime about the profound wisdom I would have dished out.

After two hours on the forum I grew sufficiently inspired to educate my mates, even though it was by then midnight. I found two of my mates whom I knew had fudgy girlfriends and I wasted no time in sending them the link to the forum. The first, my team mate in football, said he had read the forum before and punctuated his approvals/disapprovals with LOLs. (To be more accurate, a lot of his comments were ‘LOLs’.) Seeing he needed some help, I told him that he deserved a superior – and foreign – product for a girlfriend. Although he went LOL again, I would not be deterred and ranted on how terrible and suicide-inducing our women are and that it is a good idea to set our horizons beyond these flat and barren wastelands in search of greener and mountainous pastures. He had to tell me to relax and not get worked up over a forum.

The next guy was my cohort mate in the military. Poor sod. Having invested four years and over eight times of what his Shitholer girlfriend invested in him in monetary terms, he still hasn’t had sex with her. As a result, he has to take pleasure with Thai freelancers at $90 for two shots every few months (by my estimate). I asked him if he understood the forum and what it meant. After three minutes he replied, saying that he needed some time to read through. I was appalled. He spent two years in the United States and he still had problems reading simple English. I should have been given the chance to go instead. There is no justice in this fucking world.

Anyway, I started my ‘sales script’, telling him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his $#@^ relationship and stated my reasons for my vehemence and on why he should terminate this cancer. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to grasp the gravity of the situation and said that he had everything under control. Under control?! Oh fuck me! Surely he meant that she had him under control!

I have failed to dissuade them from persisting in their dire path and I feel I should have done better. Truly, it is sad that my ilk has such low standards in choosing their females. I sincerely hope that they do not procreate and produce more of their spawn. This world is ugly enough as it is. We don’t really need more shit.